close
    How do I tell someone that I love them when they hate me because I hurt them in earlier life?

    A few years ago someone said that he loved me but I teased him about it and took advantage of it. Now I think that he hates me, but ironically I think that I love him now. I know that this is all my fault but I don't know what to do about it. I see him pretty much everyday and we occasionally talk but not very much. I wish we could either communicate more or even start seeing each other. What shall I do? Should I carry on as I am as though I feel nothing or shall I approach him?I have tried to talk to him before but didn't really get anywhere. I hurt him about 3 years ago - do I risk bringing it up again?

    +2  Views: 806 Answers: 9 Posted: 11 years ago

    9 Answers

    Bring it up, what is the worse that could happen?  That you would find yourself in the same situation you're in now?  You never know and never will if you don't take the bull by the horns.....

    I believe that you have answered your own question...."I have tried to talk to him before but didn't really get anywhere".  Had he still been interested, he would have responded and he did not!  It's time for you to stop remembering the past as "better than it really was" and move on. 

    You could try, but any feelings he did have for you, you crushed by teasing him, not only that, what about the embarrassment he would be feeling.I doubt his feelings can be re-kindled.

    I think you just want him now because he acts as though you are just another female! Give him a break! Leave him alone! No one falls in and out of love at the drop of a hat!

    Anonymous44

    That is what I have been doing for the last 2 years. Do you suggest that I just carry on?
    clu

    Find a new guy! Some hurts are not fixable! Making fun of his love for you was a really bad thing to do! He will always remember that. Sorry sweetie, but that's just my opinion.

    How about taking time to write him a letter,taking responsibility about your bad behavour in the  past, telling him just how sorry you are, and hope he for gives you. This way he can read the letter (a couple of times) if he wishes, and have time to think!. Then wait and see if he replys, or mentions it, when you meet. Dont bring up topic, if he does not reply, or mention it to you, I guess that is it, you will have to move on.              


    Good Luck.

    ed shank

    I'm with richardjames on this. Writing almost always gives me a sense of calm when a stressful situation needs to be addressed.

    What would you have to lose by sincerely apologizing and letting him know you were being immature three years ago?

    doolittle

    I am with Flip on this one!!! Apologize! Take full responsibility for hurting his feelings, being a jerk, etc. And then leave him alone and see what happens. (If he had done this with you would you want him back??)

    Well you could say sorry for all the bad things you have done and tell them i just teased because I was thinking the same thing and i thought we werent really close.


     

    Touch his arm, knee, hand. Look at him with your softest eyes. Flirt with him. Buy him a candy bar. Move very slowly toward him. He'll get the idea. If he doesn't want to try again, then just walk away. You won't have lost anything.  I think forgetting the past is good.

    If you would like the possibility of having a relationship with this guy, then YES, you need to do something about it.  You said you talk occasionally.  Find a way to talk with him when it's not "in passing".    Be direct and quick about it.  Something along the lines of,
       "I've thought about how unkind I was to you a few years ago, teasing you and taking advantage of your friendship. I am ashamed of my behavior, and I want you to know that I seriously regret being so stupid. I hope you will accept my apology, and that our friendship can get back on good terms." 
    GOOD LUCK TO YOU.  Keep your feelings to yourself. IF you start dating, you may discover you are not in love. Don't set him up to be a fool again.  



    Top contributors in Other - Family & Relationships category

     
    jhharlan
    Answers: 107 / Questions: 0
    Karma: 11730
     
    Benthere
    Answers: 5 / Questions: 0
    Karma: 11690
     
    FISH-O
    Answers: 55 / Questions: 0
    Karma: 8640
     
    Bob/PKB
    Answers: 70 / Questions: 30
    Karma: 8270
    > Top contributors chart

    Unanswered Questions

    hb88company
    Answers: 0 Views: 7 Rating: 0
    hb88company
    Answers: 0 Views: 6 Rating: 0
    hb88company
    Answers: 0 Views: 6 Rating: 0
    gamedoithuongviet
    Answers: 0 Views: 10 Rating: 0
    gamedoithuongviet
    Answers: 0 Views: 7 Rating: 0
    Yo88
    Answers: 0 Views: 20 Rating: 0
    > More questions...
    452371
    questions
    719754
    answers
    754545
    users