I am in a committed relationship which has been going for 1 year 4 months.

    Previously, we have been experiencing countless problems and broke up many times and got back together many times. 

    Last time we broke up, we thought we had broken up for good and thought it was going to remain that way but ended up working things out and in a way, we couldn't have been happier.

    The last time we broke up, my boyfriend had wrote something on another girl's wall on Facebook which I already saw when we were broken up, but when we got back together he erased the posting. I mentioned to him that I already saw the posting and he continued to apologize and that he would never do it again, but at the time, it didn't matter to me because we were broken up during the time he posted on her Facebook so I didn't see why it should be a problem.

    Recently (now that we're together), I felt insecure about his suspicious actions and I saw that he had erased a couple of msgs on his phone to another girl. I didn't tell him I saw this and that he erased the msgs again, even when he had promised he would never do that again.

    Am I supposed to confront him about this? 

    What would be the best thing to do?


    Please no harsh criticism, I would appreciate straight advice/feedback.

    Thank you for taking the time to read this.






    Thank you to everyone who took the time to answer.

    0  Views: 416 Answers: 6 Posted: 10 years ago

    6 Answers

    Sounds like a smear campaign , it also seems like your too young to get caught up in such nonsense rather than fighting fire with fire extinguish the flame and find a new one..

    And once the trust is gone, you will always be checking his phone and facebook page, wondering where he is, when he's not with you. Weigh the pros and cons of it but I agree with Daren.

     Hi OOCHR,

     Just read your question, not sure how to reply, but feel I must let you know what I think. First you stated that your in a committed relationship, but previously have had many problems and broke up many times. You only have been in relationahip  over one year, which is not all that long, having so many problems. To me this is not a commited relationship, not by your boy friend any way.

    He does not respect your feelings, He made a promise he didnot keep reguarding the megs on his phone, which I would ask him about, what have you to loose. The best  thing to do in my openion,ask yourself, is this what you want in your relationship, little peace of mind, who is to say he wont go back to Facebook, using different name.

    You sound like a nice and honest lady, you deserve much better, dont be his door mat.  Good luck in what ever you decide.

    00CHR....You say that you don't want harsh criticism.  You surely don't want sugar-coated advice, do you?  I believe that deep down, you have already answered your own questions.  He is not trustworthy and you know it!  This is your life for now and forever....always wondering what he is doing.  He will NOT change.  He will NOT!!!!  Say goodbye.        :(

    You only mentioned one action while you were separated...posting on Facebook (which is just the dumbest thing to do with a relationship problem).  
    Suspicious actions are what you think about him erasing texts to other don't trust him.
    Like the others have said, no trust, no relationship.  You two are a habit, not a couple. 
    Down the road, you may find yourselves drawn to each other, not from habit, but because you realize you love each other., That's not what's going on here now. 

    A relationship without trust, is not a relationship. It will only cause you more problems down the road. Find someone you can trust, you will be a lot happier than you are now.

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