Flip
My daughter became involved with a man who reminds me of the likes of O.J. Simpson and Scott Peterson. She moved (with him)to the west coast of the US so he could be near his pre-teen son, with the intention of marrying and settling down. The engagement was broken off because of his controlling manner, and about 5 months ago she moved out and got a place of her own. In those 5 months she has attempted numerous times to retrive her personal items and clothing, only to be verbally assaulted and yesterday he physically assaulted her. The police have been there 3 times with her to attempt to get the items, but they refused to arrest him because there were no physical marks. Yesterday they also took his word over hers that she had gotten all her belongings, and wrote it off as just another one of those "domestic" cases.
Today, I shall become involved as the intermediary in this situation. I'll be damned if my daughter will become "fish food", and it seems one can't trust the California police and court system.
7 Answers
Shootah
Someone should probably at least attempt contacting a shift supervisor or above, regarding the assault that wasn't charged. I'm really surprised the situation wasn't taken more seriously. In Maine, if either a man or woman alleges an assault in a domestic situation, someone is going to jail...and they don't get out until the matter is at least reviewed before a judge.
After several women were shot by men released on bail, the legislature tightened up on people accused of domestic assault. As a man, I see this response as being somewhat severe, yet agree with the need for that severity, especially if the accusation has physical evidence supporting it.
In today's awareness of the problem, there really is no excuse for authorities to look the other way. Too many tragedies have occured for our society to turn its head and look the other way. I wish you all the best in dealing with this situation. I have a daughter of my own, and I guess you know where my heart rests on this matter.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 10 | |
Bob/PKB
I don't know where in the state your daughter is living, but I am not really surprised by the blase, eager-to-go attitude of the law enforcement who accompanied her to the old home. If either had a brain in his/her head, they would have asked to go into the home WITH your daughter so she could point out what was hers and take it.
ANY time there is violence of ANY sort, the "offended" person should contact law enforcement and at least make a report. PAPER TRAIL.
Your daughter could file a complaint with the law agency that refused to help her, schedule another pickup date and time with them, and be sure to have you or another person with her to record/witness what transpires.
WHY is California so full of dipsh*ts in law enforcement? I wish I knew ; the county jail is a story in itself.
I'll be praying for her safety.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 8 | |
robertgrist
Having been through a similar situation myself, I suggest you do what I did. I left everything I had there and never looked back. Credit card companies call it a "charge off “ when you abandon all to save yourself like that. I call it respecting myself. My credit was in the toilet for ten years which did not matter to me. The girl I left was free to liquidate my assets and smoke it all in her pipe without me around to drag her to NA. Her place, I left, happily ever after.
Like I did, leave and if necessary get a restraining order on him. Leaving no forwarding address and going to a new happy adventure is so much nicer than being upset that someone is impossible to get along with. Join a support group like CoDa... http://www.coda.org/ have a happy life.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 8 | |
valR
witchway
I am sorry that your daughter had such a bad experience with this man. Glad to hear it has been resolved. Hopefully she can put it all behind her and realize that not all men are like this. Gladly , she has a wonderful support system within the family. Now she can continue with her life in a positive direction. Thank goodness and Blessings for your daughter and you!
| 12 years ago. Rating: 6 | |
Having been through a similar situation myself, I suggest you do what I did. I left everything I had there and never looked back. Credit card companies call it a "charge off “ when you abandon all to save yourself like that. I call it respecting myself. My credit was in the toilet for ten years which did not matter to me. The girl I left was free to liquidate my assets and smoke it all in her pipe without me around to drag her to NA. Her place, I left, happily ever after.
Like I did, leave and if necessary get a restraining order on him. Leaving no forwarding address and going to a new happy adventure is so much nicer than being upset that someone is impossible to get along with. Join a support group like CoDa... http://www.coda.org/ have a happy life.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 4 | |
Ed1530
CA government is not a government and has not been one in a long time, it is an administrative system in which the need or inclination to follow rigid or complex procedures impedes effective action. Then when you add in the lack of fund’s you have a CA bureaucracy with an administration in which action is impeded by unnecessary official procedures and red tape. The good part or the silver lining here is that CA is ahead of its time and the rest of the country is in a scramble to catch up to CA so they can become just like them. Many people are moving away from CA and turning the places that they moved too just like home sweet home.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 4 | |
