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    I received this nonsense reply message addressed to me

    Me: "happy belated birthday to me too... StIll growing strong.... Drink..a toast"
    Friend: "yeah I just got one, #2 was in the restroom. You know, it takes a strong woman to have children, and you're not"

    Please read the last sentence. can someone out there translate this for me? Still smh
    Btw, It's my choice not to have kids. Is my "friend" trying to insult me?

    +3  Views: 941 Answers: 12 Posted: 12 years ago
    pej

    Funny how ppl interpret and percive your messages differently from originally intended by sender (sigh)
    Bob/PKB

    Please explain why you say it is your choice not to have children (in your question expansion above) and then say you are not able to have children (in your comment to coolandy2000 below).

    12 Answers

    You said it was a nonsense reply! It is !  I think you talk as if you are a strong woman! You do not have to defend your choice about children to anyone! Enjoy your life, maybe find new friends!

    pej

    Thanks, Clue, for saying it. I'm always considered myself as a strong woman --inside. Hey, if I lived through genocide, war, starvation, diseases, and etc, etc, I can get past this.. You're right I don't own anyone explanation or have to defend myself (my business not theirs). I chose at the very young age not to have kids because after watching my single mother struggled raising her 6 babies changed my perspective entirely.
    Poppy3

    pej - you are a strong women and like me choice not to have children - I have looked after more children than people have had hot dinners. Have observed their lifes from every which way and feel how very responsible one has to be to bring a child into this world - if ever I was to have a child I would adopt one - this so called maternal instinct is a myth and nothing to do with a women wanting or being strong enough to have a child. As clu says so wisely enjoy your life - ignore these criticisms. You are a very wise strong women in today's climate especially for what you have been through. Go well and take very good care of yourself.
    pej

    Thanks, Dopey, for your kind words. Children are gifts from God. Some ppl view others who don't have kids as disease. As I mentioned to FACEBOOK, it takes a convicted strong person to decide about personal matter or any matter and stick with it; not all of us are born to be parents, married, single, etc because our destiny and mission are different. I'm happy the way I am. I have tons of nieces/ nephews that I like to spoil dearly and if I ever still want kids I can always adopt therm for a day or two. Many good lucks about that adoption; I think it's the best and nicest things any soul do for another. I've no doubt you'll be a great parent

    It doesn't make any sense to me...............I think @Benthere is right....................

    pej

    Right, huh? I find it offensive and hurt at the same time, I'm sooo fumed right now!!!! I'm going sleep over these tonite before I change my mind posting the comments on FB wall

    Get over it, the dude's drunk or on drugs. When drink's in the wits are out. You are more than that ignore it.

    pej

    I'm more calm down now.. just deleted the discussion message. Still figuring whether to reply back or ignore it. Thanks, Eggplant.

    I think a hearty FU is in order for your friend.

    pej

    I try very hard to bite my tonuge not to say anything. But, Lordy I'm tempted to bash him on FB forum
    ed shank

    Pej, Sometimes it's best to ignore.

    Instead of posting it on FB, why not confront your "friend" for an explanation?

    pej

    I'm debating on doing that. Btw, just realized the message was initially posted on his wall by me wishing him a happy Bday... (sigh) now everyone's been reading it

    "Happy  belated birthday to me too....still growing strong......Drink a toast"  THAT IS ALL ABOUT YOU.  Why?
    "Yeah, I just got one."  Got what?
    "#2 was in the restroom."   Is this the second child?   Second wife?  What the....
    "You know, it takes a strong woman to have children, and you're not."  You actually call this person a "friend"?  It would be hurtful and offensive to me, but I don't know the history you have with this man.  He IS married, and possibly HAS children.  Were you two involved and parted company partly because you didn't want and he did want children????? 

    As far as slamming him on FB, GROW THE **** UP.  Why on earth would you want to degrade yourself with a childish outburst where damn near everyone in the whole world will see it???  
    This is a married man.  I don't know how you would feel if women were sending cute messages to YOUR hubby if you had one, but MOST women would NOT like it.  Treat others as you would like to be treated.  This goes for people you DON'T like as well as those you do. 

    pej

    FYI his sis was one of my best friends and after she passed away we decided to stay in touch. One of his brothers married to one of my best friends. I knew his family and hung out w/ them frequently when lived near. We joked about everything and anything there is on earth. To sum it up yes he's married and have kids ; I knew his wife even before they married. Yes I attended the wedding and it was beautiful. And I'm glad they're happily married and still happy. Btw if you have read my previous comments to other answerers the message was initially posted on his wall wishing him a happy Bday by ME which later I realizes was ALREADY read by anyone who desired, which btw I deleted message permanently. So thank you for taking time from your busy day to answer.
    Bob/PKB

    Well, nuts. I just typed a response to your comment and my computer is acting up with this website. Apparently, you weren't meant to hear my response to your FYI and BTW.
    FYI and BTW: It was not sarcastic, demeaning or rude.

    Bizarre.  I don't blame you for being upset that it was on his FB page...not approriate.  Unfriend him and have him send e-mails.

    pej

    Thanks, Do: I'm over it. We joked about a lot of things when we were young. I accept that he's didnt realized what he wrote. So I decide to forgive him and move on bc I'm forgiven much to forgive others

    talk to your "friend" when not drunk

    pej

    T.Y,Val

    Likely offended by your "happy birthday to me too" could have registered that you were reminding the sender of a forgotten birthday. Husbands get very offended when the wife forgets theirs, but never offended if they forget the wife's. No he/she wasn't insulting you, he/she was offended so he/she responds with the only thing they know about you which you can react to. Best ignored. If you wish, you can send a smiley note about the"Happy birthday to me" bit.


    People will always get offended no matter what you say because they are that way. Example as given here to another, if a man is arrested in Samoa for tax dodging, it would not affect you, but if your neighbor gets hauled over by the tax department for evading tax payments, you would move your accounts into an offshore bank :).  Another friend of mine phoned a client with a USD 5000 proposal and said chirpily "The early bird catches the worm", and the client said "are you calling me a worm" and that ended the contract.

    pej

    humilatiing and insulting me on FB wall about me not "strong" enough to bear children, REALLY!!! I come from a large family with +20 nieces/nephews and still countin, what does it say about my reprouctive-me that I'm unable to conceive kids!!! Coming from him, i'm hugely disappointed (a guy that i had a crush on in my teen yrs). UURRRGggg!!
    coolandy2000

    @pej, have you "unfriended" him (nice option on face book and only there!) My sympathies. Fortunately it was a teen crush, just think what you would have had to put up with if married to him? Always a positive way to look at life :). I am happy that you were wise in your choices.
    pej

    Thinking of it... It's ashamed it has to be like this. But, Life goes on, right?

    To me, this person doesn't sound like anyone I would consider a friend. I have never really understood why people are so attracted to facebook, after having heard so many similar stories. Myself, if I want to talk to someone, I call them, or email them...and I do that out of wanting to keep that connection with them. On facebook, that circle of people you know or know you just grows and grows...often with people you more tolerate than like. Is it really worth it? If that person is a so-called "friend," I think it would be time to unfriend that person!

    Have you ever thought that it might take a stronger women not too have children in this corrupt world.There nothing hard spreading your legs.And like Bob said how can you call him a friend?

    pej

    Have you ever thought It takes a strong person to decide and stay with it?Not everyone wants to get married and goes same for those decides to remain single and not wanting kids. It's a crazy world why subject a child to this? I decide an eons ago not to have kids.. We were friends since we're young and I know his family well...its time to let some so called friends go
    facebook

    People have been known to change with time, once a friend could turn out to be worst enemy!

    pej, Just ignore his remarks, he is trying to upset you, and smiling, waiting for your reply. When he does not get  reply from you, means, his plan back fired, and he got no pleasure. Dont stoop to his level.



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