Divorce after a plus 10 years marriage.....

    One day the wife wakes up and realizes she is not happy... Not that she is mad, but deep down in the bottom of her soul not happy.  Every minute she spends with the man that would die for her opens her eyes to the fact that she is already dead... He has sucked the life out of her....

    What should she do? Divorce, wait and see???  My advice is that marriage has its ups and downs. She is most likely in a valley. She disagrees... She loves him.. but she feels hollow. 


    +4  Views: 823 Answers: 9 Posted: 11 years ago

    9 Answers

    Jen. That doesnt sound to me that her state of mind has anything to do with her husband. That sounds like the wife needs to see a councellor.


    Sounds to me like something is lacking and the husband has not taken notice that he is not fulfilling her.

    "He has sucked the life out of her...."

    He takes but does not give back. Sounds like he married a wife when she thought she was marrying a partner. I think they both need counseling.

    Amen Colleen!!!!! LOL

    She's lost herself. A separation is in order. She can better decide what to do outside of the cycle.


    You are so freaking smart!!!! What about her kids? She cant support them...

    Where there's a will, there's a way. Many women manage to accomplish this.

    Love is grand divorce is 50 grand, best just to stay legally seperated..


    That's your advice? Stay and be miserable because it's cheaper? Hmmm.

    Amended, never said legally separated. Well that is an option for the present time.

    Please i know of a few couples that are legally separated and couldn't be happier,It a contract marriage of convience at that point,health insurance for starters..

    Yes but one or the other could find someone new and then the inevitable divorce will happen. That's why I said for the present time.

    People don't always grow together. One becomes complacent/content while the other wants to challenge life and strive for greater things. Nothing wrong with wanting a gigantic house with a gigantic pool and a rolls-royce. These are of coarse extremes. But wanting more is good for everyone, the kids especially. Talk about what you NEED out of the relationship not what your willing to accept. Counseling may help, but if this is the scenario all the psycho babble bullshit won't do any good. You only get a oneway ticket one time, don't waste it. Good luck to who ever these people are.  





    I think you have the closest answer so far.

    Sounds like some contradictions there; she is not happy, feels hollow and that the life has been sucked out of her, but she loves him.  Many would feel resentful and loathing along with hollow and sucked out. Perhaps she is in love with what was, or what her hopes were. 
    She might want to consider all the options, some of which are divorce, separation, shut up & put up, counselling (individually or as a couple).  Perhaps she is "merely" depressed; it could just be a temporary "funk".  Leaving a relationship/marriage is not easy.....millions of people stay in unfulfilling relationships because they are too scared or too lazy to go solo. Happy takes a back seat to "not being alone", and the person goes through life, not alone, but terribly lonely.
    Finally, who wants to go through life feeling dead? 

    mid life crisis!


    LOL most likely!

    HA! For 10 years?

    yes ann,or the marrage has pushed her to the edge.

    Happiness is an inside job! 

    "the man that would die for her ... has sucked the life out of her"... I don't get it...

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