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    why don't men like women hugging other guy friends????

    ok so i have a BF that doesn't like me hugging my guy friends and i want to know why cuz he wont tell me

    +5  Views: 1213 Answers: 19 Posted: 12 years ago
    bulletman

    Does he hug your gilfriends?

    19 Answers

    Because they don't live in Hawaii where most women hug other guys.


    Guys don't hug guys because they don't want other people to think they're gay.  Instead, they go around slapping other guys' butts.  Go figure.


    Guys don't want their women to hug other guys because they don't want other guys to think that their women like them.


    We call this " insecurity of the mass".


    P.S. Guys would love to hug ALL the good looking young girls if you and the girls allow them.


    We call this "double standard".  Get it?


     


     


     


     

    Ducky

    Moderator
    Good points!
    mycatsmom

    latin men hug eachother.....like Italian men. And many other nationalities of men hug and kiss eachother.....usually on the cheek.Arab men are very tactile with their male close freinds and relatives.
    mycatsmom

    also, many straight Californian men hug eachother. It's the California way

    Your boyfriend doesn't like you hugging your guy friends because he has control issues and suffers with jealousy. 


    He won't tell you because he doesn't understand himself.

    Colleen

    Moderator
    Hmm, your best answer sounds a lot like my answer that I got yelled at for. ;)
    ROMOS

    Is there an echo in this thread...Cooooolll.
    Colleen

    Moderator
    hahahaha
    FISH-O

    I look good in blue.... la la la!
    Colleen

    Moderator
    Every time you do the la la la, I think teletubbies, lol
    FISH-O

    Think beautiful singing voice ..... I feel an Aria coming along.......
    Colleen

    Moderator
    SLAM!!!! YOU LOST BEST ANSWER! LMAO. She stripped you of your blue! hehehehe
    Kids are so fickle!
    mycatsmom

    To Fishfry---So that's why my guy frineds would never tell me about an issue they were having about themselves. Is that b/c men don't get in touch with their feelings? ( sounds very 1970ish, doesn't it ? )

    byunicorn.....LISTEN....okay?   You asked this question because you wanted an answer, didn't you?


    YOU CANNOT CHANGE ANOTHER PERSON...YOUR BOYFRIEND IS JEALOUS....YOU ARE TAKING THAT AS A COMPLIMENT....YOU THINK THAT SHOWS HOW MUCH HE LOVES YOU BUT IT DOES NOT....IT SHOWS THAT HE IS INSECURE....HE WILL FIND MORE THINGS THAT HE DOES NOT WANT YOU TO DO.....OR ELSE!!!!!  YOU ARE HEADING FOR A LIFE OF BEING CONSTANTLY CONTROLLED AND TOLD WHAT TO DO......RUN!!!!!!!! 


     (Sorry to yell at you but I can tell that you are not listening and I am also trying to get through to you.)

    michmar118

    Ducky, I feel strongly you are speaking from experience and that is speaking VOLUMES!!! Thank you for sharing to women..........<3

    Jealousy and control. I'd dump him. It will only get worse. 

    byunicorn15

    but what if you love him a lot an your trying to help him get over that stuff!
    Colleen

    Moderator
    You can not help him. He has to do this all on his own. You are not a doctor or psychiatrist. You can't "fix him". Your love is misplaced. You are not doing either of you any good.
    mycatsmom

    byuonicorn, you cannot change a man. That's true of most women too, but they're a little more pliable.

    Hmmm! The BF doe's have issues so tell him to take it up with the other guys doing the hugging.


    If he goes all quiet & sheepish at that suggestion..... Give him the flick.


    It will only get worse.before long you won't even be allowed to talk to other guys I'll bet.


    I have seen it all before & trust me it's not worth the heartache.Be your own person.True to yourself.You make the rules.

    Its there "Cheap aftershave Smell.Move on get a life.

    Hugs ... strong hugs ... Always seem sexual to me.


    I had a psychologist who always gave me a too close hug. (Or one that I didn’t usually get at family dinners.) Things got confusing for me. I’m not a lesbian but there were some feelings that she awoke in married with kids, me. (This was many years ago)


    I went to her because my mother had had a massive stroke and this hugging caused a crisis of conscience for me. I had to switch psychologists.  I later found out my lady therapist was on the lookout for close lesbian relationships. I believe she lost her license.


    This is nothing compared to the male psychiatrist I went to. Another day, kids.


    By unicorn, my feelings are probably different from others because of my experience. I was just spouting off. Take care. Beware.

    Ducky

    Moderator
    Hugs do not seem sexual to me...just a little more friendly way to greet someone...male or female...just saying.
    itsmee

    Ducky, that is much more “normal” In a way the therapist traumatized me. I was very fragile at the time. I was so upset by mom’s stroke that I couldn’t even speak to anyone outside my immediate family. Vulnerable.
    Colleen

    Moderator
    Well you can blame the therapist for part of it but to use the "traumatized and vulnerable" cards to explain your feelings away is, in my opinion reaching for an escuse. You've mentioned this story quite a few times here. I think you are looking for an answer on how to settle the feelings she awoke in you. There is no answer. Your the one who has to face them and place them.
    The therapist was indeed wrong if she was making advances on you. Sounds like she got what she deserved if she was indeed doing this to you and other women. I would say she was a sexual predator undeveloped since all she was doing was giving hugs at that point. Did you report her for her actions? Or did you leave that to others to handle?
    mycatsmom

    A woman therapist I went to kept wanting to hug me when I left. I told her I'm not a hugger. She dumped me from her therapy sessions
    itsmee

    Colleen: I did mention the feelings she awoke in me. At this time, it was difficult to deal with.
    I feel safe and accepted at this site. I will be more careful. Still hurts.
    At all times, s wise to be careful where you put your placecy

    JEALOUSY

    no i am doing us both good so give me pointers or just don't comment anymore on this

    Colleen

    Moderator
    Do not be snarky. The advice I gave is the best advice you will ever get concerning your "relationship". If you do not like the answers or are just too young to accept advice from someone who has been there and done that, then do not ask the questions. You can not change a controlling personality. Only they can change who they are. It's best to learn this now before you get your heart trampled on many times before you learn you can not fix people.
    byunicorn15

    i know what you mean i just don't want to lose him and i have had my heart trampled on and i know how it feels
    Colleen

    Moderator
    Well just get use to that feeling then since you want to keep him. You're giving him no reason to change.
    lewboy

    Alot of woman think they are he one to change a guys nature only to find out to late they cant.
    This guy has issues that could be deeply ingrained all i will say is take care, and yes i am a guy.
    dowsa

    "Doormat". is that your real name .He walks all over you.Get out and around , there's more Fish in the sea as they say ."Ask fish Fry"

    If it's just a hug and nothing more then ther's no harm done, if there is more to it then thats a bit different. I think you should talk to him and assure him there is nothing more . Sounds like he's a bit insecure, take the advise of everyone on hear , most have had experieces , I mean that in a nice way.                                                                        

    My guess would be your guy doesn't want you hugging his pals because he knows what thoughts are in their over-sexed minds.  If it bothers him because of that, stop it.  If he is trying to control you, that's another situation.      You can find out what the problem is without being confrontational. 
     

    not all men are jelous like that, i know plenty of girls that hug guys in front of their boyfriends/husbands and it's of no issue..

    because men are jealous and territorial. God made them that way. So are many women. I didn't like my late husband hugging other women.

    I never thought about it and I could not see why I would want her to stop from hugging anything but perhaps a wild animals that would not be cool.

    itsmee

    Ed, your comment came at a good time. I believe we call this comic relief. : ) Some of us went back in our history (me) and were unable to give unicorn15 any kind of answer. Thank you.

    Are you a touchy feely person, in that you like to give hugs, kisses and the norm. to you.


    Maybe he is a stiff, unfeeling person, a control freak, jealous to the extreme. Think about it.

    Because most Men Are Insucure

    Your not going to take anyones advise, so continue doing what you do, and deal with the inevitable BS.

    Ducky

    Moderator
    Da ya think? lol

    For those of you who are interested in psychotherapy, it might be interesting and educational if you read about transference & counter-transference. The client in therapy is not “guilty” The therapist is not guilty as long as he/she seeks therapy on their own dime in their own time 


    I was not able to report my therapist. Another woman did that. I was so devastated by my situation that I was unable to speak ... I wasn’t even able to finish my sentence on this site!  Strange.


    Therapy will never be for me again. I thought it was odd that my repeating the situation here was taken out of the akaQA archives. Hundreds of questions and mine should be the one remembered.  My apologies if they are necessary.

    Colleen

    Moderator
    An apology is not necessary and I'm not sure why you think I was against you. I agreed with you that your therapist was wrong. I just questioned why it affected you so much because of the feelings she woke in you. But that has already been said so I will not repeat it. As for remembering your story, I remember many, many stories by many, many people here.

    Off this topic, the administrators did let me know you sent them messages addressed to me about the other thread. I do not get those messages when you use the contact link, those go to the admin only. You can contact me directly through the e-mail address listed on my profile page. I did however see the same comments posted to the thread and replied to them there. ;)

    IKR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Colleen

    Moderator
    why bother to answer then? Are you old enough to be on this forum?


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