Still Angry
Why can't I let go of my past memories. My marriage? The Vows, til death do us part? I find myself lost in my thoughts lately. My Ex has moved on, It took a Month after I left him lol. (that's two years ago) I recently met a great man, who wants to give me the world but I find myself thinking of the marriage I once had. Will I ever love again? Have butterflies in my stomach? Have that can't sleep and I can't eat feelings. The love that I had with my ex? We were married for 20 yrs. 2 of those years he left me for another woman and I took him back. Can I find love the second time around or do I settle for Mr. Nice?
7 Answers
Ducky
Yes you can but it appears that you are not ready yet. The one that you are with ("who wants to give you the world") is not necessarily THE one. Just because HE is so willing, doesn't necessarily mean that you need to be. Wait a while. Think about just being on your own for a time. You may find it quite enjoyable to do your own thing! You're not even divorced yet so what's the rush? Relax...breathe....wait.
NO...DO NOT SETTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
| 12 years ago. Rating: 6 | |
By the way, a date is a date, not a marriage proposal!!!!
FISH-O
Your feelings are completely normal. Divorce is horrible no matter what the circumstances. You have been through a lot by the sounds of things.
I did meet Mr. Right after 18 months of separation. I felt very much the same as you do. A lot of it was the fear of letting go and fear of the unknown.
Mr. Nice could be your soulmate. Give him a chance. You may never know what true happiness is if you don't give him a chance...
Good Luck .... :)
| 12 years ago. Rating: 6 | |
Bob/PKB
You don't have to "settle" for anyone. Mr. Nice doesn't deserve that, either.
I think you are sad because, when you married, you expected your relationship to grow and prosper, and to be old together, literally until death separated you. Even if you are no longer "in love with" him, there is a part of you that doesn't want this to be the end of that innocent, sincere belief of a quarter century ago. Being single doesn't hold any excitement or promise for you, either. It's not what you thought your life was going to be, and it's hard to accept that. It IS a sad time; death of a relationship, the hopes, the expectations. The future suddenly becomes terribly insecure.
Choosing "Still Angry" for your name here should give you a big hint.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 6 | |
lambshank
Absolutely, even the second and third!!! though I do understand how you feel, there are a lot of memories locked up with the person you spent so many years with, those you will never forget those, neither should you, but for me it was like losing a dear friend, in time you will move on too, and hopefully restore the happiness you once felt, there is life after divorce. Enjoy your independence before jumping into another relationship, and don't settle for anyone you are not entirely happy with, Mr nice could well be the wrong one, you obviously have doubts, enjoy his company but also enjoy your own
| 12 years ago. Rating: 6 | |
Chiangmai
zorro
jhharlan
I found fault in every man I dated (and for good reasons!) but, when I first saw my husband, I just knew he was the one.
I was married for 21 years. What you are going through is really tough.
Now, it has been seven years and I am glad I left. I can finally breathe a sigh of relief. My first husband and I were not soul mates... It was not meant to be.