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    How do you comfort a friend who goes through a divorce not too long ago?

    I just received a Facebook message from a dear friend whom has 2 kids (2 and 4) husband cheated on her (I was told of this not too long ago), and now the divorce is finally official after 9 yrs of marriage. .. How would you say to her?

    +4  Views: 656 Answers: 12 Posted: 12 years ago

    12 Answers

    Give her a copy of HOW TO SURVIVE THE LOSS OF A LOVE and no more words for a while. She can read it in one night and it is very healing.....

    mycatsmom

    I read it too. It is very good.
    pej

    ... Sounds like a good read. I shall go to Barn N Noble buying that book to send to her. T.Y.
    pej

    do you happen to know the name of the author? I checked on internet, came up several authors.... thx a tons!
    jhharlan

    There are several authors....

    You say nothing other than to offer her your sympathies on the ending of her marriage and then let her talk, rant and cry if she needs to. You just be there and support her. 

    tell her she can call you anytime day or night, if she wants to talk.

    pej

    I did.. She lives few states away

    with love and support..

    Always beeing there for her to talk to you about her feelings and pain will be a great help for her. It happend to my daughter. They were married 9 yrs. too and her husband had an affair with someone from work. He married the woman, they had a son together and divorced after 2 yrs of marriage. He now has another child with another woman.. Cant understand the mentality of some men, no sense of responsibility!

    pej

    Just Can't fathom why one woman is NOT enough for a man!

    Sorry about your friend, time is the only thing that will wash away the bad memories. People have been cheating on one another since the beginning of time. Doesn't anyone keep it in their pants anymore? It makes me sick every time I hear this story.

    pej

    ironically, I know her through her ex-husband through my male friend
    Bob/PKB

    It makes me sick, too. The women and men who prey on married people are disgusting. What goes around comes around.....not necessarily, but the cycle continues.
    Also, "CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE" and that is a very sobering statement.
    ed shank

    We live in a throw away society, don't like your spouse anymore, get rid of them and try something different. Children assume this is normal and the cycle continues. I've had three step-fathers. I wasn't about to follow in mom's footsteps. I found the real deal, luckily.

    When I was in the situation of being discarded as a woman and wife, it was devastating for me. Just having friends who would let me wail and moan helped.  Advice, not so much at first. She needs to be strong enough to take care of herself and the children.  Make sure she know to make the kids' well-being (IN ALL ASPECTS) her top priority, which means SHE needs to be healthy.  
    She's fortunate to have your friendship. 

    Let her do the talking and say to her that you will be there for her no matter what

    I would say don't dwell on the topic.Find something else to talk about to her.When she is ready to talk about it listen to her.If you can't offer anything constructive just let her know that you are willing to help.

    pej

    I hear you. They say,"if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say at all"

    I went through the same thing in reverse, I got 4 kids 3,4,11 and 12 and I was happy I had full custody of the kids ( she agreed to give me the kids ) but I had nothing I wanted tom say to anyone.


    Guess it's different with a man.

    pej

    You just did, by sharing your personal experience with us on GAG. T.y.

    Listen to your friend talk.

    After the loss of my mother my friend said would you like to go out to lunch or dinner or do you need to be alone.  I retrieved her call from voice mail. I had given up answering the phone because of way too many calls from Mom’s friends who wanted to offer sympathy or get information. I chose dinner and we had a good time especially when the candle on our table  caught the curtain on fire. We were in a tiny house that had been turned into a Mexican restaurant.

    pej

    Sorry about your loss, it must be hard for you to talk about your mother. Thx for sharing this with us.


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