7 Answers

It may be too late for marriage counseling, but suggest it, if you are willing to maybe hear things you won't like. Should your wife decline, go anyway....you and your family are going to need help understanding what's happening.  
If your wife is firm in her resolve to not be your wife, graciously offer to help her move.  You do not give up your home or your family.  You don't have to be a "dick" about this, but you make sure she takes only her personal possessions and you get your finances in order IMMEDIATELY, if not sooner.   

When a business partnership dissolves, there are lots of issues to be resolved.  Likewise in a marriage.   You do not want to be left holding the bag full of alimony, child support and "she gets half my retirement", etc.   

I wish you well, sir, and empathize with your situation and feelings. 
 

Dear sausalitoslick, I'm sorry about your situation.  It sounds like your wife has found herself  a boyfriend.  She may deny, deny, deny, but when they say what you said she said - there's always another guy or gal involved. 

If you have a family, ask her to leave so she can start "her new life" and "find herself".  You stay put and take care of the kids, go to work everyday and get on with your life.  It is her loss.  I just hope that it's not too late for reconciliation when she finally comes to her senses. 

Sounds like its all over but the Good Byes if you get that . Cover your butt and get things in order cuz its time to be thinking of what the next ones name is when her drawers hit the floor ,new perfume ,and a giggle just for you are things to look forward to . Good Luck and I am sorry this is on your plate .  You are not alone ,been there myself . Fact is here ,she is already long gone . We are always the last to get to the news . Like a broken big screen its time to take it to the curb .Why leave it in the house and remind yourself? Rember always move up ,never laterally ,enjoy your shopping ,make sure to road test a bunch before you pick one . Why the hell not!!!!! They do it all the time . Trust me this is best over when they talk like that. Say your byes and get on with it .

Tell her to haul ass before some other guy starts wearing your slippers. Be calm. Should she create a situation that forces you to be removed from the premises, your f****d. A cool head should prevail.

I am sorry to see you are in a difficult situation. Have you been married a long time? Could your wife be going through menopause and not even really know whats going on herself? It's unfair to make accusations that she is having an affair. Who really knows what is going on.If you really love her maybe back away and give her space. Seek counselling for yourself so you have some support system if things don't work out well. You might even want to go as far as seeking a lawyer for advice as to how to go about things if she does leave to protect your kids and yourself.I guess it's important to get your ducks in a row and be prepared for what will come.Work on yourself and start rebuilding who you are as in many cases we loose ourselves in a relationship. Maybe start going to a gym or working out to start rebuilding some self esteem. Your kids will need you to be strong as will you for your own self worth.

The best navigating you can do, is point her to front door and tell her not to let it hit her in the backside on way out!!!!

Rent and sit down and watch the movie FireProof. Its a great movie for troubled marriages.

Watch together or by yourself, a great message.