This has been puzzling me for a while now...

    I've have been wondering this for quite some time now. I have a 15 year old dog, Ally, and in September the vet said that this will be her last christmas, I was concerned at that time about having to put her down but the vet said that she was healthy enough to die at home because of the love I give to my dogs. Anyways there are 6 people involved with Ally. She was brought home when my boyfriend was still married. they brought Ally home for my step daughter when she was 4. Well almost 4 years ago Ally came to live with my boyfriend and I, It started as a visit for the summer but then Ally didn't want to go back home so she stayed with us. I have 3 step children but Ally means the most to the oldest as Ally is her dog. She is constantly concerned on how Ally is doing. So here's what's been bugging me. We live 3 hours away from my step children. My boyfriend pays child support weekly and we visit the kids 2 weekends a month at their house and then the other 2 weekends they come to ours. So they still see Ally all the time. I know one day soon I'll wake up and find that Ally died in her sleep But how do I tell the oldest daughter when her dog dies. They don't have a telephone. She has a cellphone but it's only for texting. She has facebook as well. however I feel that news like that should not be sent over message. Do I send her a message or do I wait until I see her again to tell her about her dog? I know the question is a little early because Ally is still warming our hearts daily with her presence but I just want to be prepared for when the time comes. I know that when it does happen I will be to emotional and upset to come and ask for advice so i'm doing it know.

    +2  Views: 996 Answers: 8 Posted: 12 years ago

    8 Answers

    You are on top of things to be thinking ahead for the sad time when Ally is gone.  I like the idea of talking with your stepdaughter about how she would like you to let her know when that time comes.  NOT telling her ASAP would be, in my opinion, a mistake.  Two examples:
    I had a dachshund who died while we were on vacation.  The neighbor caring for our place didn't tell me until we got home.  She put Ernie in the garage, and there he lay on the cold concrete when I returned.  I don't know exactly what I'd have done from another state, but probably would have had her put him on a blanket. 

    In third grade (8 years old), our neighbor and surrogate grandpa died in the hospital.  My parents knew, but didn't want to tell me. When I went to school the morning AFTER he died, my best friend announced the info to me just before the bell rang.  Being devastated (and never having anyone die til this point), I ran to the office, called home and hysterically insisted someone come and get me.  The teacher caught me on the phone.  I was NOT allowed to go home and the teacher made a BIG deal of telling my classmates how I was going to deal with death that very day.   I was humiliated in front of my peers. Horrible woman. she became ill during Christmas break (in Missouri), and died there.  I don't like to STILL feel some form of "justice" from that coincidence.  

    Talk to your stepdaughter.  She will appreciate your concern and love for her AND Ally.

    So sorry to hear about Ally, I was in a similar situation 2yrs ago when both my dogs ( mother+daug hter ) died within 2 months of one another, at the time my son had just started university and was living away from home for the first time, I couldn,t tell him by phone as I thought it would be better done when he came home, anyway to cut along story short,he still hasn,t forgiven me,but we still get on ok. In short Ithink it,s sad news that,s better shared asap.

    I'm sure she knows by now Ally is nearing the end of her life. If she doesn't know, she should be made aware of this. Then ask her how she would like to be notified. 


    She does know that the end is coming. And I have asked her how she would like to be notified she tells me that Ally is going to live forever and then changes the subject.

    You need to push the issue. Tell her that ignoring the inevitable will not keep it from happening. How old is she? Does she live on her own?

    she's 18 and lives with her mother

    Her mother does not have a phone you could call her on?

    no it was disconnected so she could take a vacation to PEI

    Hard, Hard. As a absolute mad dog lover I wish I had a simple solution but I don`t.

    I agree it is not the type of news you can tell by tect of face book.

    Could you text the girl asking her to telephone you when Ally goes to the Golden Shore? Surely there must be telephone somewhere near her.

    The Golden Shore is where Ally will go when she leaves you.

    The Golden Shore is endless miles of golden sand a blue ocean, all dogs go there to wait for their humans. When their human dies and goes to the Golden Shore there is endless play, no illness and you stay together throughout eternity.

    Maybe you can prepare your step daughter with this revelation about her and Ally.

    Perhaps now that ally is getting old you might want to think about getting a new puppy, so when the day ally does pass rather than breaking the news that ally is gone you can just tell her we got a new puppy hopefully that would take the focus off ally..


    That would be a nice idea. Except with Ally I have 5 dogs. 3 of them rescued that were left at my door, Ally and a dog my boyfriend bought 4 years ago. I can't take in anymore dogs. these 5 already take all my attention

    Rip off the bandaid... Just tell her in the only way she has givin you. IF she is the last to know that will open up a while new set of issues.

    Tell her. If she denies the possibility, you have still done your part. Drop her a tasteful card when it DOES happen. She was warned.....

    think of all the good stuff that can happen and has happend x

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