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    Im a single mom w three kids. 2/8 and 1/18. I'm a teacher but each month I struggle just to keep food on the table and get bills paid. We relocated to peace as victims of domestic abuse. I guess I assumed that I would bounce back in a few mths. We have been stuck in an apt for three yrs with a ragety car. I have had a serious medical issue and just recently I noticed that all 3 kids are unhappy. I truly need to get them back to thier normacy..house, pet, little league, and sleep overs. Besides m

    +2  Views: 718 Answers: 9 Posted: 12 years ago

    9 Answers

    This story hits home for me. I have two teen boys that I have raised on my own for the past eight years. I know your not interested in my life story so rather than ramble, I will get right to the point. Knowing where your at, I understand that you're trying the best that you possibly can. I bet your kids know that you love them and see you're already doing everything you can. Showing your kids your love and support sometimes doesn't feel as if it's quite enough with todays society so stuck in the idea of having stuff.The best advice I have for you is to find happiness in what you have and learn to be greatful for all that you have accomplished. Wake up and be thankful that you have a warm place and food to pick at. Let your kids see that you can find happiness, as you are a mirror to the way they will feel. Give them each special time and love individually. Start  a daily ritual with them like having dinner a special family time to keep in touch with who they are and whats going on in their lives.In doing so include them in making dinner and eating together at the table Take the time to tell each one what makes them special to you.Show them love , security and strength as their only parent. Help make them feel safe in the fact that you're now their rock in life.No matter what don't spend any time telling them what a bad father they have, they already know what they feel about him. Allow them to feel safe in talking openly with you about things. Why can't each one take turns having a sleep over on the weekend? Is your apartment that small that your child and friend can't have a slumber party on the living room floor?. I have realized that I won't always be able to make my kids happy. They'll go through times that are tough and all you can do is love and support them and give them a safe place.It's not at all about STUFF...it's about security and love.Your already a strong woman to have made it out, give yourself a pat and start to reflect these qualities to your children. Remember...you are a mirror, reflect happiness, love and strength, your kids are watching.

    Sorry to say it,but it's up to you mum.Make those kids happy,whatever it takes. You've got a big job in front of you but it's worth it for the love of your kids.

    To you Cindypooh,   NEVER GIVE UP !!   The world can be  at your hands!   There is people out there who care about you............But you need to show you care about others to open up your opportunities !!    I am  praying for you!!   Take action !

    For family/fun time, let them tell you what they'd like to do and do it as regularly as you can at little or no cost..  They do need to ALL pitch in however  they can, so you can all survive and stay together.  Look into social services big time, for your kids well-being.

    Move to Michigan .Pulic school  teachers here are very well paid, and get good benefits b/c they're in a union. About 11 years ago, my g.friend , a spec. educ teacher, told me she was making  $70,000 a year. She must now be making  $ 100,000 /  year. 

    pioneer2

    MCM: Wow. The Democrats and the Unions and the Public Services Employees are having a picnic in Minn. I guess. With the collapse of the Soviet Union and the resulting freedom of the Eastern European Countries, the Chinese, India, Mexico you name it our private sector jobs are in the tank. Go to any retail store and look at the manufactuer of their products. We have to compete with their wages. Not the Unionized public service employees. They still think its business as usual.

    This won't last. Take my word.

    Time for the 18 year old to have a job. The 18 year old can baby sit the little ones and you need another job or stop what you are doing and find another one that pays better . There is only so much time in a day that can be sold for money . You can have a business or you can work for it . The productive use of time is the solution  here . Best idea is to do both .           Bill

    So many good answers here I don't know what else to say but hang in there and I hope things get better for you and always remember your kid's love you for how hard you are trying to hold things together and I hope the 18 year old is helping you any way he/she can.The best to you...

    AlI commends are helpful with appreciation to  MOM answer which has sum up almost all what can be given to Cindy as a package.  small addition from me, is transparency with the kids every plan, action idea budget  must be put to table on discussion with four of you, they should know the capacity of the family and act within the framework of that capacity while stiving for better change. A principle of learn to like what you have if you can't get what you want. everything will be ok in the near future, the kids are coming up.


    Cindy you are not alone. 

    Thank..How do I do that?



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