2 Answers

My father wanted to see Canada from one end to the other because we emigrated here.  Every year we set out in the car with the tent trailer and every year the car broke down.  I became phobic .... listening to the sounds the car was making and hoping we didn't break down in some very remote place.  Which we often did.  We were that family on the side of the road with the hood up... I know, you were always wondering who that family was... that family was mine.

One year we were on our way to a wedding in Saskatchewan.  Our car broke down in a place called Tiny and that is exactly what that town was... one gas station and one motel...

No one ever died in Tiny because there was no graveyard.  No one went to school in Tiny because there was no school there either. 

Everyday I had a ham sandwich for lunch until one day my Mother burst and screamed, "Can't you just order something else?!!"  I looked at the waitress as she gazed down at me ... waiting for my response, "OK, put cheese on that please." .  My mother just about lost it.  The waitress had to walk into the kitchen in order to hide a very large laugh... That ticked my mother off even more.  The entire restaurant heard that laugh which sent my sister and I into peels.  Yeah, we ate lunch alone that day.

My family didn't make it to the wedding and we came home with a new , old used car.  It was gold.  A big gold boat of a car.

The wife was gambling at the Blackjack table in Vegas. I was down on the strip sitting in what I thought was a bar.  I hate gambling. While sipping on my 4 or 5th beer the doors which were locked were kicked in and the place was crawling with cops. I had no idea it was a whorehouse, I thought peddling ass was legal in Vegas. We were all cuffed and taken to a police station and booked. I was released without bail, but had to make a court appearance two days later. Apparently the Judge believed me and the charges were dropped. The wife was quiet on the flight home, several dirty looks on occasion made for a long trip.