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    Am going to visit my 76 yr old mother , that I haven't seen in 10 yrs in Denver. Have 3 brothers ou ther with her but we did not all grow up together. Have sister and brother here I am closr to. Want to knwhat kind of a special gift I can bring to her on my visit.. May be the last time I see her..............

    Am going to visit my 76 yr old mother, that I haven't seen in 10 yrs in Denver. Have 3 brothers out there with her but we did not all grow up together.  Have a sister and a brother here in WNC , all with kids, that I am closer to.  Want to know what kind of a special gift I can bring to her on my visit.........This may very well be the last time I see her in person......Video will be challenging as the kids live on their own, here and in Florida. Suggestions??

    +7  Views: 982 Answers: 13 Posted: 12 years ago

    13 Answers

    I think the greatest gift is nothing material. The greatest gift is to go and see her, talk to her, listen to her, spend peaceful time with her.


    If you want to bring something tangible as well, let it be pictures and stories of you and your beloved ones - share a bit of your life with her. And even if you may not meet again, keep up contact by phone or by mail. Let her participate in your existence.


    Good luck,


    Papitou 

    michmar118

    You're answer is right on, we still have things to work out, best done in person. Thanks so much for your help! She and I have a deep, personal relationship and we know it,..just need to be on the same page........
    Papitou

    I'm glad you found my answer useful, and I hope your time with your mom will be a good one for both of you. I believe it's not so much about working things out - it's more about cutting the destructive bonds of guilt, remorse, anger... - and establishing positive bonds by communicating despite the conflicts there may have been in the past. This is so easily said, but I myself am not sure whether I could do it. I really wish you the best of luck, and that both your mom's as well as your heart will feel lighter afterwards.
    michmar118

    Paitou, you must be quite intuitive or insightful as what you last said is very accurate. My mom and I have a very good long-distance relationship. We like and love each other. I was very angry for many years early on but went through some big stuff and was able to forgive and move on, if for nothing else for my own sake and sanity. Not having seen her in person in so long and knowing this may be last time seeing her, as well, has put unconscious pressure on me. I feel sometimes like I don't want to go, but wonder why, because I DO love her! Thank you so much for your generous, thoughtful answer, it's helping me look a little deeper at this situation and how best to enjoy it and give joy, as well!

    Take her pictures of yourself during times of your life that you were not together. That way when you leave she can look at them and see the parts of your life she missed. Put them in an album and put a message to her in the front of the album.  Priceless!

    michmar118

    Absolutely beautiful answer!!! THANK YOU, AND all THAT ANSWERED with incredible answers. You are all inspirational!!

    The most important things would be pictures and sharing. Make sure you learn from her as well as she learns from you. Much would also depend on her health and physical capabilities, but remember a person at her age usually go more for the sentimental things.

    Make a video of your family life.  Bring it to her, show it on the TV and explain to her each member of your family and the activities.  Having not met your family members for a long time, she would be delighted to see them on the video.  She will treasure it and watch it frequently after you return to your own home.  Also bring flowers of her liking to brighten up her house.  

    michmar118

    Thank you so much for a wonderful, lasting answer!! I feel empowered by you all! Thank you!

    YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Write a letter long and sweet from the heart . I think if she enjoys doing something I would make that happen. Then I would consider something for her comfort  if its a warm blanket  her favorite tea , anything that just makes life nicer each day will be appericated . Even a subscription to here favorite movie channel Net flicks . May you find the guidence you need for this choice and may it be right .            Bill

    michmar118

    Your answer may be the very best.......I LOVE to write, especially from the heart, & and I Know my Mom would totally appreciate it for what it is!,....from the heart! Thank You, for all the writing I do do, I did not think of that!! Crazy!! Very thoughtful and loving answer!
    michmar118

    Very heartfelt answer, thank you for taking the time. Great suggestions. :-]

    You your self would be the best gift of all.

    The best gift would be ..you..with a heart filled with love. if you have children she might want to see them too...Time to come together.My best wishes.

    michmar118

    Thank You..............
    afday61

    I am not sure why I think this but I think she probably loves you with all her heart and I think that you Love her the same let that guide you.Try and be strong with those siblings you have trouble with and dont let them get to you, remember the big picture.Take care of yourself.
    michmar118

    afday61, you thought right. I do need to stay on a higher plane and I think and hope we all will as it's been so long and we're all older and wiser, overall. There is still potential for other, but am staying positive. Much thanks!

    Noman 1's answer is offensive.  I voted him down.  He should apologize to Michmar118.

    Benchong

    His answer has been removed after I reported abuse to the Administrator.
    michmar118

    Thanks so much!!! Much appreciated!!
    Benchong

    You are welcome. Have a wonderful trip.
    afday61

    Well done Benchong.Now I understand about-Report abuse, Thank-you.
    michmar118

    I never saw Noman 1's answer, must have been removed before I could. Probably glad I didn't. Again, thanks for having my back, and anyone else's who might need it.

    I am not answering this but what everyone has said bought tears to my eyes well done every one you have all said it .....and Mitcmar God bless your Mother and just tell that she has been the bestest Mother in the world xxx 

    Nothing I can add to these answers Michelle.I think you got some beautiful replies & suggestions.


    Good luck with your visit & enjoy your Mum.

    Mr.Den,  thank you for inquiring. The actual trip itself went very smoothly, which soothed one of my larger concerns, being a female traveling that far alone.  Air travel, it still seems, is a pretty safe way to go.  Once I reached Denver and my Moms hse there was issue after issue. Car troubles, money problems, pet problems, court/legal problems (because of one brother incarcerated and whom I never got to see) and emotions running high because of it and even spent 2nd to last day in ER with my Mom and youngest brother.  Without going into much detail, they found no major red flag(s), probably just a bad reaction to her current health issues metabolically in concurrence with a past stressful week.  Upside: Was able to be with my Mother for a week after having not seen her physically in many years. Healing and loving for both of us. AND I was able to make deep, new connections with my two fully biological brothers, one the oldest and the other the youngest (have two other bros as well).  The new bond was especially meaningful and strong w/my youngest, R.  A new friendship developed, we came together as if very old friends had met up again. Yes!!  Last night there, after settling Mom in from hospital, she INSISTED my youngest bro and I drive to Golden to visit a maternal great-aunt, an already set up plan, so we finally did  and I still found Aunt B to be  the deliciously hilarious, intelligent, and classy lady I had known many years ago and had a wonderful evening with her and my bro.  Nice ending to a meaningful trip.  So sorry this is long, and it was grossly abbreviated.......but you asked!!   ;-D


    P.S.  A funny:  Immediately after my youngest bro, R, picked me up from the airport we went to the grocery store to pick up a few things we thought Mom might not have in the house. One of them was peanut butter, as she is not a fan.  I like natural peanut butter and the best deal the store had was a regular sized jar for almost $6.00. High, but  I bought knowing I could bring it back home. Fast-forward to packing to leave the last day, I carefully separated my liquids, shampoo, face cleanser, hairspray, perfume, etc and made sure they were in my checked luggage and not my carry-on, so as not to be searched at x-ray. (Learned my lesson  going to Ireland last year, didn't know the new rules.)  What I did do was to pack my peanut butter in my carry-on just in case I might need it sometime/somehow during the trip.  Well. at security at Denver Intern'l, they pulled my carry-on off to the side and searched it, stating there was some liquid inside and I couldn't imagine what it was as I'd packed carefully. When the officer finally pulled out my peanut butter jar, with the natural oils floating at the top as it "naturally" does if not stirred before use, he stated that I cannot have that in my carry-on and he confiscated my peanut butter right then and there!!         :-/         I asked him what they do with all this innocent stuff they keep and he said he didn't know.  Sure, Buddy...................

    Mr.Den

    Someone had good snacks for a couple days
    Mr.Den

    Overall sounds like a good trip, Do you feel like you have become a stronger person from the trip?
    michmar118

    Yeah, Mr Den, it did bolster me well, and in more ways than one. Thank you for your interest. Merry Christmas to you and your family! :-D

    www.gifts-4-gals.com/   I hope you see each other many, many more times.

    Since this question was asked 2 months ago .........How did it go michmar118  ?? How was the trip  ??

    michmar118

    Posted your answer separately by accident. :-}


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