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    Do you think it is morbid to take photographs of deceased love ones while in the casket?

    +19  Views: 4505 Answers: 27 Posted: 9 years ago
    melandrupert

    Hi CB good question
    Darci13

    Yes I do.
    brignac

    google pics of deceased circa late 1800's and you will see different sites with pics of deceased and learn that this was an every day thing then . funerals were held at home in the parlor which is how they came up with funeral parlor. they didnt have medical info or care then and many people died before theyy outgrew childhood . there were also fewer roads , means of transportation, etc, families often only had family portraits following a death with the deceased in the pic looking as though they are alive so that by the time others found out or traveled back they would be able to see the person somehow.
    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    Thank you.
    ROMOS

    Good morning!
    Ducky

    Moderator
    Ahhhh....back in the day. <3<3
    ROMOS

    Courting couple. ;)
    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    I'm grinning ear to ear.
    Ducky

    Moderator
    See what happens when you 'court'? lol
    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    :))

    27 Answers

    YES! i THINK IT IS VERY WRONG, i STOPPED A PERSON AT MY MOTHER'S VISITATION WITH A CAMERA!!


    I think it is rude and  unacceptable, I am quite certain the deceased would feel the same way, nobody wants their picture taken when they feel or look bad, let alone dead! 


    I don't want a picture of a deceased loved one around either, I prefer not to remember what they looked like in the casket but rather what they looked like when alive and happy..  Picture taking at a funeral is inappropriate in my opinion.. 

    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    Vinny: You look just like I've pictured you in my mind,minus the mustache though. lol
    Vinny

    How can you tell? That blurry pic looks like I got two black eyes.. :) I also have a 'goat' now too..
    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    Show us a pic without the black eyes. lol
    Vinny

    Oh no, I can't do that, I am much prettier now.. I'll have to beat off all the womeens here.. Uh, except Colleen of course.. LOL
    mycatsmom

    It's wrong for just anyone to take a pic of your diseased loved one, but it's not wrong for the family member to take a pic; as I took a pic of my dad laid out . Many people do that. For one thing, my aunt couldn't make it down here for the viewing and she said yes to the question of would you like to see the pic of him in the casket.
    Vinny

    mycatsmom, That's fine, you and i have a different opinion of what is right or wrong, this is what makes the world go around, think if you will, if we all agreed on everything, how boring life would be.. Personally, I don't like the idea of a camera in the funeral home, as I said, nobody like having their picture taken when they aren't at their best, let alone deceased.. :)
    itsmee

    Vinny,
    I agree with you--totally agree. Two years ago you wrote this ... I don't know how I even landed here but I'm glad I did.
    Vinny

    Yeah, I don't know how I landed up at places I visited 2 years ago either, must be the illegal activities that bring me back.

    Much better to remember them as they were,ALIVE!

    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    Yes, I agree.
    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    Tommyh: Iistened to the Wallop song by T. Steele.it's funny. He sure has a nice smile.
    Tommyh

    Rum tiddely um tum,tum,tum,tum, :)
    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    HA! I Good to listen to with my morning coffee. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HptmXm956oI
    Tommyh

    "Stick it ya fam'ly album. LOL

    When my dad passed away in 2001, I took a picture of him at the funeral (after everyone had left the church and before the pallbearers were summoned to carry him to the hearse. 
    I would never take a photo of anyone who is not an immediate family member. 
    I don't know why I felt compelled to have the photo, but it was important to me at the time.
    Had someone else walked up with a flash, I would've felt them way out of line.

    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    Thank you for your honesty. I can't sit here and say that I would never do this myself. It's none of my business so if you don't answer back I'll understand, but, I am curious to know if you view it at times? I wonder if it brings some sort of comfort you can't receive from looking at a photo when he was alive; because what you see is a body that is no longer enduring the pain and suffering while they were alive-they look at peace.
    mycatsmom

    I took a pic of my dad too. I was about the only one there in the foyer of the church when I took the pic. He looked nice in the casket. It was just my way of not wanting to part with him.
    mycatsmom

    You're lucky you had him as long as you did.
    Bob/PKB

    The photo was not for comfort; I have memories, even though we were never close. I seldom knew what to say to him, how to get a conversation going with him. My photos are in a walk-in safe that needs a locksmith to open it; I've not looked at the photo in years. I sense the emptiness of a corpse, that the essence of the person is gone and only the shell remains. When he was comatose and on life support, I knew he was already "gone". I have driven to the cemetary a couple of times to just sit on the grass at his gravesite, talk and pray. I don't know why I feel closer to God there, but I do.
    Bob/PKB

    mycatsmom: it sounds like you lost your Dad when you were quite young. I hope you have many wonderful memories of him.

    I think it's a personal choice.I certainly would not dream of doing it. I remember picture were taken of dead soldiers on return from Vietnam but I think that is a different matter.

    I prefer remembering that person in better times. Although some dead people look better dead than when they were alive.

    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    I think they all look like wax dolls. Very freaky!

    If you want to....yuck...

    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    It is a little strange.

    indeed very tacky.. never heard of it being done..

    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    I think it is being done a lot more than we realize.
    Nene43

    My husband's family took photos of him in the casket. I was shocked and did not even want to look at them. My sister-in-law put them in my purse. I THREW THEM AWAY AFTER TEARING THEM UP.
    itsmee

    Good Nene. I would have done the same. Did your sister-in-law mean harm?
    mycatsmom

    country, re: the dead baby.....Everybody grieves in their own way . A child is the hardest grief. I know of a woman who makes life-like sketches of deceased babies for the parents. I guess she gets a lot of business. I was looking at an old family album from a few generations back and I saw what had to be a dead baby of maybe 5 days old :-(
    lambshank

    daren1, my friend was murdered, she had 4 young boys that had witnessed the event, they were encouraged to take photo's of their mum by proffessional people so they had a better memory of her than the night she was killed

    I don't even understand why we can view the body in the casket, let alone take a photo.

    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    During the the viewing hours of the deceased the casket remains open for people to see and say their final goodbyes. Maybe I shoul not have limited my question to only while the dead or in the caskets. What I should have expressed is taking photos of the deceased at any point of time after they have expired such as if they died in their favorite recliner at home, would you take pictures of them before the body is picked up and taken to the morgue?
    mycatsmom

    Country, NO , Most people would NOT want a pic of their loved on just after they died. We're talking about when they're laid out.
    Yvonne57

    Moderator
    country bumpkin, no, I wouldn't take a picture of my dead mom in her recliner or in the garden. That's odd to me.
    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    ynonne: I agree it would be strange to do this.
    mycatsmom

    I don't like viewing the body either, of my loved ones, but by the same token, I was against cremation of my loved ones. I would have liked to have had the casket closed, but my mother said then people would have thought that he/ she must look terrible , or the family wouldn't have closed the casket.

    Vinny, My husband was a funeral director (office only) He says that people take photographs all the time. 


    I think there should be a law against taking pictures of the deceased but there isn't. A surveillance camera wouldn't work because families wouldn't like being watched while they were grieving. It would cost a fortune to have someone watch over the deceased hours and hours a day. I don't see any answer except cremation.


     

    itsmee

    If immediate family member choose photography that is their right.
    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    Maybe this is a subject adults should have with there parents and spouses should discuss with there significant others before death occurs.Some people may give close family members permission to take photos of them or they can tell there family members absolutely not and hope that family will respect their wishes when they die. I don't know, just a thought! I like the new hat but I can't look at it very long or I'll get dizzy! ha-ha.
    mycatsmom

    what;s wrong with the family taking the pics ? It's only wrong if a friend or other people outside the family are taking pics of your loved one.
    Vinny

    Oh, I am aware that people do take pictures at funeral homes all the time, I have been to a few with the flash going off. In an odd kind of way I agree if the coffin is made up to represent one's life. I saw a coffin that looked like a corvette, everyone took pictures of that.. This i see as a humorous homage to the deceased and in this case, I see no wrong in it.. This is just my personal issue. I don't want people taking my picture as I lay in state either. They had many chances to take my picture when i was alive..
    mycatsmom

    If it helps them feel better to take pictures, then they should. Or , like I said, someone in the family might not be able to come to the funeral home for the viewing, and might want to see the pic, if the deceased person looks alright. Some corpses look better than others.

    we took pictures of my deceased mom 43 years ago. when my dad remarried and pssed on himself, his wife would not give me the pictures of my mom or her bible i would love to see her again. i dont remember what she looked like

    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    I'm very sorry to hear that your step mom is/was such a "B" towards you. I can't stand to see step parents treat their step children so cruely. It is usually only because they are jealous and hate the ex spouse so they take their animosity out on the children or they are just jealous of the children period. There are some psychotic step parents out there!
    mycatsmom

    Car, I don't understand the comment about your dad pissing on himself and getting married all in the same breath. But, anyway, your stepmother sounds like my brother's wife. She ruined my life.
    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    He means after his dad passed away and not that he pissed on himself. Though he very well may of pissed himself if he regreted marrying his second wife. LOL

    My Niece is a photographer and as a courtesy and way to "Pay Up" for her community, she is called upon by the hospital or Funeral Home at least once a week to take photos of deceased babies, stillborn, SIDS babies, etc.  She says it may sound morbid but in a few months when the grief has passed some, the parents are grateful for those pictures of their babies that have gone to heaven.  She made it seem right to me and a blessing for the parents.

    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    I saw a photo of a dead baby that a grandpa was carrying in his wallet. I'm sure it was the only picture any of the babys loved ones had of him/her. Without having time to build any memories or mental images to remember what this baby looked like, I can see why they would want to have a picture to keep the memory alive. ( Not trying to be cute or funny with that last sentence.)
    mycatsmom

    what do you mean by she does it'' as a way to pay up to her community '' ?
    No one should be allowed to take pics of the deceased babies without the parents' permission. And it's tacky and hurtful to ask them.
    Yvonne57

    Moderator
    mycatsmom, it was always done with the parents permission. Never would she take it upon herself to snap a picture of every deceased child from the hospital. It's just something she does for free for the family only. She gets called by the funeral home or hospital because they have her number and it's a courtesy to the parents not to have to figure out who does it or not.
    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    I understood exactly what your niece does by your comment. I'm sorry some of what we say is misunderstood by some people. I guess you and I get ourselves in the same boat sometimes with our answers.*~*

    I bet that even today, a month later, some people are reading this and they are also p...ing...Well, never mind, you know what I mean.   hahahahaha

    mycatsmom

    Coun Bumpkin---sorry. I wasn't trying to disparage your neice.
    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    Are they still p...ing 2 years later? LOL
    HA! I just reread your answer, I think I get it...People are a little miffed by my question and they do not know what to say, is this what you mean?
    Ducky

    Moderator
    Another two years later, I have no idea what I was talking about. See, nothing has changed. LOL!!
    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    LOL...I know, right! :)

    I took a picture of my dad in the casket. He looked nice. He looked like his ususal self. My girlriend showed me her scrap book and it had pictures of both her mom and dad when they were laid out. ( not at the same time  )  I don't think there was a pic of her son when he died of a drug overdose.  

    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    I wonder if the reason she has no photos of her son is because she has not come to terms with his death yet. The death of our parents is natural and expected but not the death of a child.
    mycatsmom

    that's right, Country. It prob was too painful for her to take pics of her son.
    Yvonne57

    Moderator
    mycatsmom - I wrote you a comment above that the family always requests that a picture be taken of their deceased child. My Niece would never, ever do it on her own. See above. Sorry to hurt your sensibilities. regards/yvonne57
    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    Mycatsmom: I know you were not intentionally trying to be funny,but, I had to just pick myself up off the floor because I was laughing so hard at one of your comments. You responded to Carmaxable by telling him you did not understand about his dad "pissing" on himself and getting married all in the same breath. What he was saying, that after his dad remarried and then "passed"(died) on himself, his step mom would not give him his mothers bible.The situation with carmaxable is not funny but your misunderstanding of what he said is hilarious. Thanks for the good laugh!

    No we all morn in diffent ways,

    why not  the Bible says death is part of life

    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    Just not the part of life most people probably want to remember, I think.

    "Why morbid You mean they looked that way in life grey not "Human realy BIG NO look at photos of them ,and see what I mean?

    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    I think I understand what you are saying. The person is just not there/ the soul is gone so it's like taking a picture of an empty shell.
    dowsa

    "Spot on my friend .You said it all.
    mycatsmom

    that's right, Country. Most of us realize that that body in the casket is not really our mom or dad......it is just the house that their soul lived in. They used that body to look out of it's eyes , and hear out of it's ears.

    Latinos love to do that and I think it is pretty sick.

    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    Interesting! This reminds me, yesterday I was driving around inside the cemetary waiting for my pizza order to get ready. I don't know why, but there is one section seperate from the rest of the cemetary named Catholic Haven, The cemetary is pretty mellow as most cemetaries go, but this one particular area was extremely colorful! These graves are decorated with Happy Birthday signs, bright flowers, flags, photographs, yard decorations etc..And some of these items all exist on one grave. What's up with all this?
    varon

    Like I said .... latinos love that stuff. I don't know the exact reason behind it, but that is how it is.

    your right its not pissed its passed  ha ha ha  that is funny

    mycatsmom

    Sorry I misread that , but we all got a good laugh out of it. And Country B, T U for realizing and saying that I was not intentionally trying to be funny ( or smart assed )

    I wouldn't want to look back on a family member/friend death pictures/videos as remembering him/her in happier times. When someone dies, it is hard in the beginning to accept. You go through a mourning period. That image and smell of all those flowers at the church/funeral home seems like it will last forever. But it don't!  As time goes on, we are able to speak of the person who passed with fond memeries. You would say something like, "do you remember when he/she did this"?  

    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    I understand. The fond memories are what gets us through some of these difficult times.

    When my Dad passed away i went to the undertakers a few times to see him but he didnt look like  my  Dad. if that makes sense.I wouldnt have wanted photos of him like that and at the time would probably have lynched anyone who suggested it.When i arranged my own funeral i made it quite clear i am not going in the obituary column of the local paper either.I think my late husband put his finger on it when he said"dont let people stare at me when im dead".He died in ICU and though we(me and my son)were with him when he died we didnt go back into the ward after the machines had been disconnected though his children from his first marriage did.at least WE respected his wishes.11 years down the line and i still resent the fact that they didnt

    country bumpkin

    Moderator

    Thank you for sharing this with us.
    FISH-O

    Oh shoot... If I voted you down Augh!!! Sorry! I tried to fix it. xoxox Fishie
    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    Not a problem.

    CB what a terribly sad story,i really appreciate your honesty.With me ,a different situation.My late husband was quite a bit older than me and as such his kids were closer to my age than i was to his.He was also an alcoholic(thats what ultimately killed him).Hed tried to keep in touch with them but they werent interested until that last few days when the hospital staff told us this time he wasnt coming home.Thank you again for your openess,take care xxx

    Everyone handles death differently. I believe if having a picture comforts you take one.

    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    Thank you and welcome to aka.
    mycatsmom

    You're very sensible, Kelly .

    No, not morbid but if you feel this way in case one of your family members is in the casket you should let the viewers how do you feel abou this before hand.

    I would rather remember them alive than dead..>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<..

    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    My uncle died night before last and my mother emailed me of a pic of him in the hospital a day before he passed and I wish she wouldn't have because he looked horrible and this will be the last image I'll remember of him. I would not have minded so much if the pic was of him in the casket because he would have been spiffied up a bit.
    terryfossil 1

    I know what you mean CB,i was in the room with my brother in law when he died,,he was a very different looking man.he took his last breath and we had to call the nurse in..>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<..
    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    Same here, Terry. My aunt and I stayed all night in the hospital with my grandmother and we were both present when she died.

    My brother in law passed on four weeks ago. He was my wife's brother she wanted to go and see him with his wife, and I went with them. It didn't look like him at all, I've seen others before my mother, mother in law and father in law, I found they all looked like a younger version of them.


    I certainly wouldn't take a photograph of any one who had passed on, I think that is distasteful , and an intrusion.


     

    One should do what they & their family feels comfortable with.

    i see no harm whatsoever if take photos of your loved ones in casket they look lovely and look at and just sleeping


     



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