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    How do i dump my man whom i stay with right now? I find it difficult and challenging to start a new life all over again.

    +2  Views: 1317 Answers: 10 Posted: 8 years ago

    10 Answers

    For the sake of simplicity, the residence is his......sooo


    Talk with the man and let him know that you are not satisfied in the relationship and will be leaving by (give a date that you can hold yourself accountable to).  Perhaps the two of you can come to some new revelation about your relationship, but it sounds like you are done.


    MOVE out and have your space clean by the date you promised.  DO NOT leave messes and garbage and stuff for him to deal with....that's lazy and mean.


    IT IS NOT EASY to start a new life all over again.  It would be wonderful if there were someone else's arms to replace those you've walked away from, but that would just make you a cheater.  So, you are starting out all by yourself.  Love yourself.  remember:  Wherever you go, you are there. You can't run away from yourself.  You may need to do some overhauling!


    Take some time to get used to you.  Enjoy, endure, suffer through the time that you are alone and think of what you want to do that you've not done yet.  Maybe you join a gym or a bowling league, or take some tennis lessons.  Maybe you want to learn how to watercolor.  There are adult education programs in my area that offer everything from floral arranging to grant writing and almost everything in between.  Guitar and harmonica lessons compete with Thai and Italian cooking.  Computer courses, GED, and the list goes on.  Most are short-term (6-8 weeks) and well under $100.


    There will be down times and there will be up times.  The thing to remember is that you are not worse off than if you had stayed in a situation where you found no joy.  You don't get to make up lost time.  Sad, but true.


    GOOD LUCK. 

    Chiangmai

    "you are not worse off than if you had stayed"....Very good point.
    Bob/PKB

    I remember thinking the world had ended. It had only changed.....hard at first, but better every day....even if I don't realize it!

    im sorry to hear about that mjmm,im going through the same thing.except she already left me to be on drugs,best advise i could give ya is leave before it reaally hurts.i know its not pretty but it has to be done

    ClevelandRick

    Sound's like me,and i'am still trying to work this thing out even after 24 years...And how right you are (it's not pretty),good luck too you my friend...

    Not easy, but by far better to be alone for a while and being alone is far better than to be with someone you are not happy with - sure it will not be long - and it would seem there would not be much grieving on your part. it would seem. Try to let him down gently and point out the reasons for the incompatibility. 


    How strange it is that men usually find someone else before relinguishing a relationship - women are somewhat different on the whole. You will find in retrospect you will see things more clearly in as much as you will wonder why you stayed so long. Do not be one of these women that cannot live without a man in their life - although if it's right - it is wonderful. You can do this - you'll see.   

    Have you considered joint counseling? Maybe you can regain what you lost so long ago....

    If you are truly not happy anymore with this man,move on .Don't be like me and waste 21years of "hoping"that things will get better.I regret all my time and effort i put into the relationship(what a waste) i can't change the past,but what a relief to know that i am as free as a bird.

    If you are unhappy you have to make the move.You can't live your life like that.If you are that unhappy you can bet your bottom dollar that your man is somewhat discontented also.

    Listen to Paul Simon's song called '' Fifty Ways to Lose your Lover ''

    Tommyh

    Yeah,drop off the key Lee.Hahaha!

    Then why dump him, no wait, he might dump you first.

    Every day you stay in this bad place is a day lost with someone worthwhile. You know what has to be done so do it.

     Do you think your man will be happy  about the split ? If you can talk to him about, why you are not happy with him  and you need a break, tell him that way, you both take time out. (you dont have to tell him, you dont plan on returning) its just easy way out.! Before you tell him, you need time out, make your long term plans. Once you have made the split, that is it. Good Luck.



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