Should A Gay Male Having Gay Male Friends Have The Same View As A Hetrosexual Male Being Friends With Hetrosexual Females. Should it Spark Jelousy??

    Recently in order to attempt to resolve a conflict between two people I was asked the question. The person asking the question is in a relationship with a gay male. Both are gay males. The one wants to associate or hang out with gay males and the other views it no diffeent than a hetrosexual male with a girlfriend wanting or actaully hanging out with females consistantly. We all know what that will produce in a mate. What is your opinion or experience on this matter. For your information and not to influnece your opinion I honestly can see the persons point.

    I feel that it is the same. I do not feel a gay male in a relationship with another gay male should make a practice of associating consistantly with other gay males. I can see nothing but trouble coming from this situation. Also I have to keep in mind that the male species is biologically inclinded to have a strong sex drive. Now you pair the two males up and you have a major sex drive issue, and both being of the same taste in mates -- well see my point.

    I did ask the person if he had an issue with his mate associating with hetrosexual males. His reply was -- not at all. This sounds pretty consistant, and his point appears straight forward as does my answer, at least I feel it is correct. What is your take on this. Please do commnet and if possible fully explain your reply if need be.

    +1  Views: 2765 Answers: 6 Posted: 12 years ago

    6 Answers

    I think the only reason an issue like that exists is because of one person's insecurities. That's their insecurity and something they need to work on rather than to try and control someone they claim to love. This works for heterosexual jealously as well as homosexual jealousy.

    As for this part, "views it no diffeent than a hetrosexual male with a girlfriend wanting or actaully hanging out with females consistantly. We all know what that will produce in a mate. "

    If the point is in your later comment, then I say, men need to learn to keep it in their pants and respect the woman (or man if it's from the gay aspect) they are with.

    It all comes down to respect for yourself and the one you love along with security in knowing your partner can and will do the right thing by you. If you can not trust your partner, then you have the wrong one.

    all jelously is toxic.....if you treat all people as equal [but  as individual ] therewill be no jelousness

    I believe that there is Jealousy and Trust issues with the friend who does not want his boy friend to hang out with other gay males.  I guess I wasn't born with jealousy...and I have always trusted those that I was dating.  Only once did someone "cheat" on me...I was concerned but not angry.   

    I have many male friends, both at work and socially, as does my husband females, neither of us have a problem as neither of us is insecure, in saying that I always welcome my husband to join conversations or come with us for drinks etc, as he does with me, the only problem I could for see is if the partner were to be excluded from the social circle this man has with his other gay friends

    Dr. Taylor, it would bother me if my partner were hanging out with people he might become interested in beyond platonic friendship.  As lambshank said, being included in those friendships makes those relationships much easier to accept.  I make the same connection as you did in your explanation.  Perhaps people "should" have more faith and confidence in themselves, their partners, and their relationships, but I have found that people are never knows.  It is important for the social butterfly to understand his partner's concerns, whether or not he agrees.  Failure to empathize would be a big red flag to me.  

    All relationships are based on trust.  Jealousy is more about one's own insecurities than anything else.  One should be open to accepting a partners friends, whether gay or straight, without jealousy or conditions placed upon the partner or his friends.  But first one must reach that level of trust in a relationship where fear of infidelity is not an issue.   Likewise, one must reach that level of personal confidence where another's shortcomings do not affect one's own self-esteem.   

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