melandrupert
7 Answers
melandrupert
1 Pick up cat and cradle it inthe crook of your left am as if holding a baby ..Position right forefinge and thumb on either side of cat gently apply pressure to cheeks while hilding pill in right hand open cat cats mouth, pop pill into mouth...Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2 retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa..cradle cat in left arm and repeat process....
3 Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away............
4 Take new pill from fiol wrap,cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand.Force Jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger..Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5 Retrieve pill from gold fish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe...call spouse from garden..
6 kneel on florr with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front paw and rear paws....ignor low growls emitted from cat..Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand whils forcing wooden rulerinto mouth..Drop pill down ruler and rub cats throat vigorously..
7 retrieve cat from curtain rail Get another pill from foil wrap...make note to but new rulaer and repair curtains ..carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later..
8 Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on the cat with head visable from below armpit..Put pill in drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw ..
9 check lable to make sure pill not harmful to humens and drink one beer to take the taste away.Apply band-aid to spouses forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10 Retrieve cat from neigbours shed ...get another pill..open another beer.place cat in cuboard, and close door onto to neck, to leave head showing. force mouth open with deseart spoon..flick pill down throat with elastic band..
11 Fretch screwdriver from garage and put cuboard back on hinges ..drink beer ..Fetch bottle of Scotch...pour a shot, Drink.. Apply cold compress to cheek and heck records for date of last tetanus shot.. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom..
12 Call fire Department to retrieve the damn cat from the top of the tree across road.. Apologize to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat...Take last pill from foil wrap.
13 Using heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed, tie the little**^^%%$!*** front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dinning table..Push pill into mouth followed by large peice of Filet steak ..be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour two pints of water down its throat to wash pill down
14 Consume remainder of scotch get spouse to drive you to E R sit quitely while Doctor stitches fingers and foreams and removes pill remnats from right eye ...call furniture shop on way home to order new table...
15 Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they any Hampsters
How To Give A Dog A Pill
Wrap it in Ham toss it in the air
| 12 years ago. Rating: 18 | |
varon
Thank you Mel, I laugh my ass off . I needed it. Your explanation is great. LOL
| 12 years ago. Rating: 8 | |
Tommyh
Hahahahahaha!! That's gr8.I'm sending it to my daughter.(Cat lover).
I'm off to do some work now.have a great day Mel & thanks.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 6 | |
daren1
why not just crush it up and put it in with a can of his favorite food .( fancy feast is what our cat gets when he's on good behavior...)
| 12 years ago. Rating: 5 | |
Ann
Really very funny, Mel. I will send that to my daughter in PA.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 5 | |
jhharlan
I crushed up a pain pill for my very in pain cat and dissolved in water and filled an eye dropper with the me and pushed it far back into the cat's throat, squeezed out the liquid, let him puke it up and hoped some made it to his stomach..
| 12 years ago. Rating: 1 | |
Lupe
