2 Answers

Whether you're a girl or guy, obsessing over a past relationship instead of moving on won't help you move forward. I've had so many people come to me about their problems with their exes and how they still think about them. (I've even witnessed some of these accounts on my twitter timeline) Let's just face it, when a relationship has ended just let it be. It's like beating a dead horse, why try to make something work if the person isn't reciprocating the same feelings? In the end it's going to be a waste of your time and will take a toll on your emotional and mental state and also how you act in future relationships (i.e. trust issues or being insecure)

Take it from me, a self proclaimed "dumpee" if you will, the only way to get over your ex is to let out all your emotions right then and there, either in a journal or talk to one of your closest friends. But by all means DO NOT publicize what's going on on twitter, facebook, tumblr, any social network for that matter, because you're just going to be entertainment for the next schmuck who's unhappy with their life. People bask in other people's misery. Haven't you heard the quote "misery loves company"? Well there you have it. The only true way to get over someone is to:

1) Get closure with the person. Whatever type of closure you may think is best. I remember one time I waited for a week after the breakup to talk to him via a phone call just to speak my peace, after I've calmed down and stopped bashing this guy on twitter (yes, I have learned from my past mistakes, NEVER publicize your business on social networks, this was years ago, I've matured people!)

2) If closure with the person wasn't enough for you then find a friend. I always find that finding a close friend to talk to about your problems releases so much built up emotions. It's so freeing to just let them out. You'll feel about 50% better once you've done this. I always do, I seek out my two best girl friends and my best guy friend for advice. They do wonders for me!

3) By all means, cut out the LURKING. We all have a tendency to "lurk" (as Urban Dictionary would define as "to read without commenting or contributing, therefore effectively invisible to the rest of the group or community.") So if you're friends with your ex and you know that you have a tendency to constantly check their facebook pages for updates or twitter timelines, or even tumblr, take a moment to either block them or delete them because you're not progressing or getting over them by checking their pages. Instead of healing your wound you're re-opening them, and that's not healthy. So if you have to and have no self control then just give yourself a mini hiatus from the internet like I did, I deactivated my accounts for about a month, took some time for myself for re-evaluation and then I came back with a new perspective. Every once in a while it's great to take a break from technology.

4) They always say this but "time heals all" is true. You just need some time to yourself. Don't jump into another relationship because you're just going to bring your problems and insecurities into that relationship. Take some time to get to know your single self again. Find yourself again. Know that you are a great person and that someone out there will love you and cherish you for you. Maybe that last person wasn't the one for you, maybe they're not the one for you at this moment. Just give it time and if you feel you'd like to give them another chance then wait later down the road, but as of right now give yourself some love. Love you first. And as time passes all your worries and bad feelings, etc. will be lessened or even gone.

Take it from me, time really does heal all. It doesn't take long to get over an ex and once you just learn to follow those tips you'll feel so much better. Just remember to surround yourself with love, whether it be from family or friends.

Here's a couple DONT'S:
Don't listen to sappy love songs or sad breakup songs. I remember a friend told me to do that once and it made me depressed for a week. This was THE WORST advice I've ever gotten on relationships. (She was a miserable person anyway, glad I don't have to deal with her anymore)
No matter how much you want to publicly curse them out, DON'T! Been there, done that. I was in such a rage that I publicly cursed him out and ultimately humiliated him and myself. That was the immature route and I've definitely have learned my lesson and have outgrown my "teenage" ways.
DON'T jump right back into a relationship if you're not ready. "Rebounding" is both hurtful to you and that other person if it doesn't work out in the end.
How do some of you cope with a break up? How long did it take for you to get over someone you've loved? Feel free to share your experiences below, as always I love to read your comments.

http://www.demetriamarie.com/2012/03/stop-obsessing-over-your-ex.html

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