Kentuckians, Tennesseans, Arkansans, and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as “HILLBILLIES”

You must now refer to them as

“APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS”

And furthermore,

            To speak about WOMEN and be Politically Correct:

1. She is      not a ‘BABE or a ‘CHICK’ – She is a

“BREASTED AMERICAN.”

She is not ‘EASY’ -  She is

“HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.”

She is not a ‘DUMB BLONDE.’   She is a

“LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY..”

She has not ‘BEEN AROUND’.  She is a

“PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.”

She does not ‘NAG’ you -  she becomes

“VERBALLY REPETITIVE.”

She is not a ‘TWO-BIT HOOKER’.   She’s a

“LOW-COST PROVIDER…”

How to speak about men and be politically correct:

He does not have a beer gut.  He’s developed a

“LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY..”

He is not a ‘BAD DANCER.’  He’s

‘OVERLY CAUCASIAN.”

He does not ‘GET LOST ALL THE TIME.’  He

“INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.”

He’s not balding.  He’s in

“FOLLICLE REGRESSION.”