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    Do you think I was a fool to take him back?

    Our relationship started out rocky, he was still seeing his 2nd sons mother when we started dating...I found out about it well into the relationship and got pregnant by him soon after that. He started leaving everytime we would argue. From 6 mths pregnant and our son is now 5 mths he left every month for about a week at a time. That is about 8 times. Last week he really didnt do anything wrong I just felt emotionally draied and ended the relationship..He is super mad at me but cannot take the time to understand just how damaged i am emotionally because of his lack of committment.....Do you think I was a fool to take him back so many times? Did I make the right choice?

    +2  Views: 1159 Answers: 13 Posted: 7 years ago

    13 Answers

    Honey , don't you watch judge Judy? Every day, day in and day out women are there pleading their cases about deadbeats who take advantage of them. They are there after being taken advantage of time and time again by the same man. Most women in this situation have low esteem, and really believe they are incapable of getting a man who will respect them. Just believe in your self and you will find someone who truly loves you . That means respecting you with admiration,loyalty, trust, and treating you as you want to be treated. Letting a man take advantage of you is not the definition of forgiveness or love. Its the definition of foolishness. Good Luck.

    the choice is yours sounds like there is a co dependency here someone has to break the chain,

    i agree that u both need to get some help with ur relationship

    I think you already know the answer, you jut need validation. Yes of course you made the right choice. Negative energy is pollution to the soul.. stay far away from it and don't ever do that to yourself again. Much love! =]

    Unfortunately I doubt he will change for a long long time. He is doing what he wants to do with no regard for you or his child. I was with a man who did this same thing and he is still doing it at the age of 49. Only now he is causing someone else the heartache. I HAD to get out of that relationship. Please break the cycle by breaking it off with him. NEVER GO BACK only forward. There is a real man out there that deserves your love and will respect you. Most of all respect yourself. For how much longer do you want to be unhappy and insecure?

    If you have to ask that question you already know thw answer... anything we say will not change your. mind... be strong.

    How many times do you have to be done that way to let go? I am telling you no one is worth that, there is more to life than putting up with a loser like that.

    I THINK YOU ARE TAKING THE MICKEY OUT OF US, YOU CAN`T BE FAIR DINKUM. IF YOU ARE YOU ARE NOT STUPID FOR GIVING HIM ANOTHER CHANCE, YOU ARE STUPID FOR EVER GETTING INVOLVED WITH HIM.

    I just stopped a 5 month whatever you want to call it, with a man who was still in lovr with his "love of his Life" i was pre-warned.. But did not listen, i miss him, but you know YOU GOT LOVE YOU FIRST, end it it while you can. Remember 'Habit is Stronger then Reason'. Good luck and be strong...

    All of us could sit here and tell you what to do. But the truth of the matter is that we can't hide our feelings, we have to wait until it dies. The best way to get over a mate is to check and see how much pain it is causing us. If we do realy know what is love and we do love our self, we would get out fast and easy, with out being angry with them. We know the type of person we are dealing with, why do we expect them to change.I have being married for 18yrs and I never knew that he was a Big Cheater even had a kid out side that I never knew about , until the kid was twelve, what could I do, at that time I thought nothing but after, what if he brings home something that I don't want , what about that.

    I am sorry that you are going through this pain; I have been there. But here's the thing: this issue is more about you than about your relationship with him, which if you think about it, has not been stable or supportive for most of the time you've been together. He is pretty much the same as he has always been - he chooses everyone, so he doesn't have to commit, and you choose him, so you don't have to commit. It doesn't mean he's a bad person or that he doesn't care for you - I don't know enough about him to render that judgment; but it does mean he has his own gremlins to deal with, and he won't be capable of a secure committed relationship until he does his own emotional work.


    So this drama, as it has replayed itself over and over with this man, must resonate with some other unresolved drama from your past, and if you can sort that out - then you can make some more rational decisions about what you want, if anything, out of the relationship on a going forward basis. Please seek some professional help; the quality of your life and the life of your child depends upon this. If you don't figure it out now, even if you don't go back to him, I promise you, it will replay again in some form in another relationship.


    Good luck. It's a difficult journey, but the payoff is well worth it in the end - emotional stability and a little peace. I know it doesn't seem possible now, but I promise you, it will come if you do the work. All the best.

    I THINK YOU MADE A GOOD CHOICE GETTING RID OF HIM. HE DIDN'T NOT LOVE AND RESPECT YOU. YOU CAN DO BETTER. ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER. YOU DESERVE MUCH BETTER AND THERE ARE GOOD MEN OUT THERE THAT WILL LOVE YOU AND WANT TO BE WITH YOU.

    Why did you stay in a relationship that started out rocky?



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