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    Why are there so many divorces? Have you ever been married, why or why not?

    A new study among singles shows that for the first time the number of people that have never been married outnumbers the number of people who have been married.


    Why is divorce so common these days, why wouldn't you get married or would you. Why don't most marriages work out anymore?

    +8  Views: 3996 Answers: 23 Posted: 10 years ago
    Lyocco

    Fewer people desire to get married and would rather live together. Not having to make a committment to each other. It come down to fear of the unknown and a lack of knowledge of what a relationship demands. Since the parents of those couples may have ha a good marriage the children do not have good role models to base their relationship on. If this is the case they would need to talk to a qualified therapist to help them in establishing a lasting relationship.

    leeroy

    After 7 years of living together in most states you are considered to be married by common law. Why not just tie the knot?

    23 Answers

    I'm married and I dated my husband for 3 yrs. before we got married. We were friends, first, and became lovers, later. I'm very family oriented and I feel if I'm going to do something and it's worth it, I'm in it for the long haul. Marriage is a job, what you put in it, is what you get out it.


    Marriage is also, an investment... You can gain, you can lose. You can have assets, dividends and liabilities!!!

    IluvJesus

    Right on!So true!

    Married at 18 had a son six months later. Parents said it would never work. We're both sixty now and I still think she's the best thing since sliced bread. Asked her once why she thinks we lasted this long, she said, I made her laugh.

    Ms Sinclair

    Good for you.

    Tommyh

    Sounds like love to me Ed.It's good to be one of the lucky ones who got themselves a keeper,isn't it?
    ed shank

    I love this woman like crazy. She is my heart.
    jhharlan

    I think I'm gonna cry now...(happily)

    I got married at 18,and was married for ten years and had two children,it was a ruff ride and my at the time husband wanted to have a new girlfriend every year through out the course of our marriage.I divorced him and remarried in 2007,we now have a son.I can honestly say I am finally in a real marriage with someone who respects me and truly loves me,we cant stand being apart,and are husband and wife and best friends.I think people today shouldn't rush into marriage,and know what is expected of each other first and always take each others feelings into consideration,and most importantly have patience keep the respect,and be prepared for the hard days.

    IamPamela313

    <a href="/users/2659/iluvjesus/">@IluvJesus</a> - The 2nd time around, thank God, was better than the 1st!!!

    IluvJesus

    Amen!!!!!!

    Marriage has been made disposable like everything else in this world. It's very easy to walk away now days. I also think that in may ways we are more independant and just won't put up with abusive behavior that was once acceptable and or hidden. The computer has opened up the world and made cheating even easier and extremely accessible to those in a compromised marriage. The media pushes it on a daily basis. I would get married again because I still believe in love and being committed to one another, I just think now that I am older and more experienced I would be getting married for the right reasons. I see over and over young people in love with the whole wedding thing but not considering the marriage after.Not taking time to be sure you and your partner even have anything in common outside of the bedroom...rushing into it.I think for the young people choosing not to marry ...many have grown up in the broken families and have had to see the mess their parents made.The way society has been going I am not at all suprised the fear that marriage has instilled into the many of the younger generation.

    We live in a disposable society. My first husband and I divorced and then I met this wonderful man.He willingly took on the responsibilty of beeing a father to my children. He was the father they never had. He treated us with respect and love and there was nothing that we coulnd talk about.We got married and he passed away seven month later. I loved this man with all my heart. I have met men,mostly married men who showed up and asked me to go to dinner or? I found that digusting. I have a Relationship now thats based on mutual respect and we dont try to change each other. I think people try to change the person they marry. That never works.You really have to know that person very well, before you marry him and accept them for who they are.
    daren1

    a good marriage is not so much as finding the right person but also being the right person
    I agree with Ann we do live in disposable society and I do think that marrage vows are not taken as they should be the world has become to laxadasive for example years ago in my parents day they use to have things for years "in the house" and would not dream of getting a newer model because it was the lastest fad and I put it as the same in marrage now its a trend the youngsters who marry today dont have hope in hell "god I hope I am Wrong" life is too fast and if you are lucky to be in work then you have to work all the hours under the sun

    Thumbs up on that answer mom, I agree with you are society is so fast paced, people expect everything to be like the drive-through at a fast food restaurant. My church has a premarital class and many couples don't wind up even completing it because they find out they don't know each other well enough. Also many other reasons too.


    Marriage is a lot of work, you should have a lot in common, such as the place you want to raise a family, city or country, etc........ Religion should be the same or similar, if you both want kids that's good. You really do need to get to know someone really thoroughly, which takes a lot of time. I think some people just rush in to soon.

    I've been married 3 times.The first loved everyone but me.The second one was perfect and I left her for the first one.Last one loved the computer and chat rooms.Gave her a choice me or the computer.I lost

    Ms Sinclair

    Maybe you should try to hook up with the 2nd one again, if possible.

    kg23

    If the second one was perfect, why did you leave her for the first one???? SIX weeks after our son was born, I was married to my 1st husband for 2 years of abuse and his infidelity w his best friend's wife. Divorced for 6 months, moved back in with him. In less than a year, he was screwing the former friend's SISTER, I moved back out of state. He cried til I married him AGAIN when our son was almost 4. When my son left for college, I left my supper on the table, walked out the door and never went back,,,then found out he had a 13-yr old son BY THAT SAME SKANK! No,her husb didn't know either!

    leeroy

    Looks like you are the one in love with chat rooms now? Hope you are doing well papa, best wishes with the next one. T.u. at you for never giving up.

    papa peg

    Well at least she didn't get the computer.

    papa peg

    Oh yea I meant she liked the singles sites.

    papa peg

    The second one hates me now.I don't know why

    I was married once when I was a young man. Since I'm not a glutton 4 punishment I am single now.

    I AM 35 I MARRIED WHEN I WAS 20 MY HUSBAND WAS 17 HE WAS PRETTY MUCH MY EVERYTHING WE HAD 3 SONS TOGETHER THE YOUNGEST DIED FROM PNEUMONIA IN 2005 WE DIVORCED IN 2006 WE WERE TOGETHER 2 YEARS BEFORE WE MARRIED SO I THOUGHT WE WERE READY WE WERE YOUNG BUT I HONESTLY LOVED THIS MAN WITH ALL MY HEART WE HAVE BEEN DIVORCED FOR 5 YEARS NOW AND I HAVE NOT TOUCHED ANOTHER MAN AND PROBABLY NEVER WILL HE MARRIED AGAIN RECENTLY IT IS NOT THAT I WOULD TAKE HIM BACK HE CHEATED ON ME TERRIBLY BAD I HONESTLY COULD NOT TELL U HOW MANY TIMES IT IS THAT I WAS RAISED TO BELIEVE THAT MARRIAGE IS A ONE TIME THING AND I CANNOT LET THAT PART GO I WAS THE FIRST AND ONLY PERSON IN MY ENTIRE FAMILY TO DIVORCE WHEN I FOUND OUT HE WAS CHEATING IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO LEAVE HIM BECAUSE I JUST BELIEVE THAT DIVORCE SHOULD BE A LAST RESORT FOR ANYONE HIS MARRIAGE WILL NOT WORK THIS TIME BECAUSE HE NEVER TOOK THE TIME TO BE ALONE THE MINUTE WE DIVORCED HE WAS WITH OTHER PEOPLE EVEN HAD A CHILD WITH ANOTHER WOMAN OTHER THAN HIS WIFE NOW AND I HONESTLY BELIEVE THERE ARE EVEN MORE CHILDREN HE CANT BE ALONE I FOUND THAT OUT THE HARD WAY WHEN WE HAD PROBLEMS AND WE WERE NOT TOGETHER FOR A LITTLE WHILE DURING OUR MARRIAGE HE COULD NOT BE ALONE HE HAS NOT EVER JUST BEEN BY HIMSELF TO TAKE TIME TO BE WITH OUR SONS ALONE OR TO BE ALONE JUST TO THINK JUST TO FIX HIMSELF HE JUST GOES FROM ONE TO THE NEXT. SO MY ADVICE TO ANYONE AFTER U DIVORCE TAKE A WHILE FIGURE THINGS OUT SPEND TIME WITH YOUR CHILDREN IF U HAVE ANY FROM THE MARRIAGE BECAUSE THEY SUFFEER MORE THAN ANYONE RIGHT NOW HIS OLDEST SON CANT LOOK AT HIM HE IS SO CONFUSED AB OUT THE OTHER CHILD THE MOTHER OF THAT CHILD AND THE WIFE THAT FITS IN THAT SOMEHOW NOW AND IT IS SO SAD BUT IF HE HAD JUST STOPPED AND TAKEN TIME OUT TO BE WITH THEM THE OTHER CHILD WOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED AND HE COULD HAVE FIXED HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS SONS BEFORE HE MET AND MARRIED HIS WIFE NOW BECAUSE HE HAS NEVER JUST EXPLAINED TO THEM WHAT IS GOING ON AND THEY THINK HE DOESNT CARE AND HONESTLY THAT IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE OUR CHILDREN SUFFERED FROM THIS FIX YOUR CHILDREN AFTER U DIVORCE AND THEN WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF AND YOUR NEEDS BECAUSE ONCE U BRING CHILDREN IN THE WORLD YOUR NEEDS SHOULD BE PUT SECOND TO THEM HIS OLDEST SON JUST SAID YESTERDAY HE IS 13- MAMA IF HE HA KIDS WITH HIS WIFE NOW THAT MEANS WE HAVE EVEN MORE HALF BROTHERS AND SISTERS AND THAT IS NOT FAIR IT HONESTLY EMBARRASING HIM THAT IS MY ADVICE TO U ABOUT DIVORCE DONT FORGET ABOUT THE KIDS AND THE EX THAT U HAVE LEFT TO EXPLAIN TO YOUR KIDS THE CRAZY LIFE THAT U HAVE CHOSEN EXPLAIN IT TO THEM YOURSELF BE A MAN OR WOMAN ABOUT IT AND EXPLAIN YOUR IRRESPONSIBLE ACTIONS TO THEM YOURSELF!!!

    Jenn

    I got married when I was 18 he was 19. We planned our marriage not our wedding. When we would have kids, how we would raise them, what we needed from one another.

    I just think it's because of peoples expectations of marriage, also many people don't spend enough time getting to know each other before getting married. And finally that marriage is a lot of hard work, so many people aren't ready or willing to put in a lifetime of difficult work.

    People are to lazy, it's just easier to quit sometimes? So many people have unrealistic expectations of what marriage really is. Some people should take these marriage classes before taking the plunge.
    Yep nobody wants to work at a marriage. Either it stays fun and games or they give it the boot. I think that in a lot of cases people don't take the time to get to really know each other. They're in for a big surprise the first time something goes wrong and reality hits home.


    "DO YOU (REALLY)!,WANT TO PULL ON THAT THREAD?"

    Passion, desire, thought wholely as Love. Oft it is youthful passion lustful without thought, thus missing the higher aspects of True Love. Of course there are those who never grow up, suffering marriage after marriage. This is a sign one needs to change their attitude and outlook on life. Only then will things change and the perfect person will come. Otherwise one will marry the same person over and over, just in a different body. One always attracts to ones self that which is in ones self. Some never marry but spend their entire lives "chasing." Maturity is reflected in commitment to Love in its fullness to one another. Love is ever forgiving, tending to over look fault without thought, standing together back to back through all the trials and storms of life. And I say if everybody had a wife like mine, there would be no more wars. LOL She has put up with me for forty years ;)

    people are waking up, and evolving spiritually.. when you're married, you're stuck on the same state of awareness of your partner, and if you still feel the need to grow, then you grow apart. Marriage isn't everything.

    Facebook and the evils of the internet are reconnecting old flames and bringing infidelity into the home. You might not be on the internet looking for trouble, but trouble will find you. Mark my words, If we all new what our spouses and significant others were doing online, there would be a huge spike in the divorce rate and more trouble in paradise. Facebook is a portal to infidelity.

    IluvJesus

    I'm Facebook friends with an ex-boyfriend of mine from 20 years ago,but I know my boundaries,and I love my husband.We keep things strictly platonic with a simple hello and how are you,those that give into their weakness are not strong within their marriage to begin with.

    I don't think there is a higher percentage rate of divorces today than in the 19th century, when divorce was considered an epidemic. For example, in 1876, after the Supreme Court decided the famous polygamy case against the Mormon church, the Utah Territory had the highest divorce rate in the nation. Whether that had something to do with polygamy or that women had suffrage in Utah Territory, is debatable. But what is certain is that Utah Territory had a very permissive divorce law in 1876, and that encouraged many non-Mormons to hop on the Transcontinental Railroad to get divorced there. That artificially raised the divorce rate in the territory to alarming rates, from the view of anti-polygamists and anti-suffrage people in the rest of the country. If you look closely at the real statistics of the time periods of the 19 century, and compare them to today, I am certain the rates will be similar.

    Marriage doesn't work and men and women are not supposed to live together. They are supposed to get together but not live together.
    In the 19C the average life of a marriage was 11 years, now it is about the same, but in those days women died in childbirth and people died younger from diseases which are rare today.

    Eight out of every ten marriages will be effected by a divorce. Either by one one the partners being previously divorced or the partners getting a divorce after marrying one another. This statistic was the national average in 2000. Knowing this I can understand why someone would be very hesitant about getting married. I know for myself my wife she had been divorced three times & I had been once & then we met in in church divorce recovery group. She had 2 boys from her first spouse and I had a girl from mine. It is the kids that will learn how to break this ugly mess created when one spouse starts to put themselve before the other. We joke about it but it is sad that before you're married you wine, dine, & whatever it takes to win over that other person but after you do. Once you get married you consider them paid for & treat them as such. That is why so many marriages don't last. The other reason is you think you're talking to eachother but there is something called a love language & there are 5 of them. This has been proven from a doctor's point of view. You can find more information on these by performing a search on the Five Love Languages.

    There are now more people now that have never been married than people who have, it's a newer trend among the population. People just don't believe in marriage anymore. I suppose that effect has something to do with many of us coming from broken homes.??
    Too many people get married for the wrong reasons or what but I myself will never ever get married again, tried it, done it, got the cap, mug and T-shirt and scars to prove it so end of that trip ......
    leeroy

    I know you may not agree with this, but all of my friends who said they will never get married were the first ones to go.

    I hope one day soon you will meet the perfect guy for you being by yourself can really stink at times.
    Darci13

    Leeroy you are so kind and thoughtful thank you but I truly am quite used to being on my own. Thanks.

    I got married at 17 in 1975 and divorced in 1978. I've been single everyday since...

    leeroy

    If I were only about 15-20 years older, you'd have to look out girl. I'd be after you, lol.

    I have been married three times, the first I was 17, we had 18 great years and two children,unfortunately his job in the forces meant he was away for long periods, we just grew in different directions,I became, maybe too independent,joined the army and the fire brigade, neither of which he approved of, after lots of arguments I walked away with nothing (did'nt want anything even though he was wealthy) started over and worked hard to purchase a home of my own, met a man that made me laugh,thought I was happy, he was a heavy drinker and turned into a total alcoholic,became abusive both verbally and physically, I got him in the car and dumped him at the rehab centre, he had never worked and later sued me, he won because the court said he was an alcoholic and incapable of earning a living..I couldn't believe it, had to sell my house to pay him out.After a few years a work colleague I had known for ten years became a very close friend, he helped me through some very trying times and always stood by me, we have now been married nine years,have similar ideas and work ethic, we transferred from Sydney and are now living happily, a new start for us both and so far so good.



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