serrenity now
this relationship lasted a summer and i did not find out until she told me 1 year later> and well i was murdered on the inside . i was hurt and this unbelievable amount of jealousy and distrust . the more i asked her about it she would lessen and lessen the act to the point that it was a kiss on the cheek. it drove me crazy could never stop thinking and seeing this man all over my blessing from god my wife that i have been with 17 years . and time went on and i just could not get over it so asked and asked and the more i asked the less of a mistake for her it was and the bigger it became for i could never get her to take a few minutes and sit with me and take the time to reassure me that it was not as bad as i thought .but instead me asking was driving her crazy and she just got upset and would make me feel like a complete crazy man for hurt over this kiss as she said on the cheek. ii lost complete grasp of reality because all of a sudden every thing would take me to these thought of her and him all over each other and it took my world because what was mine was not mine any more and that was my partner and friend and lover and most importantly my future was dishonored and i felt like she was seeing him when looking at me and i could only see him when seeing her. and it took my reality to this place that i was a joke and a looser i really felt ashamed because my wife went outside our secride world becouse i was not good enough for her. and i just did not know how to deal with any of this and if i mensined it to her she would just loose it and tell me right were to go> i ended up leaving and and we have been apart for 1 year andi have stiil kept my body to the agreement we maid in front of god not saying that i have not maid mistakes cause i have done way more then should of been taleraded . she has had relashions with men during this year how far they went i dont know. but this is the quistion i have asked her to give all of this a nother chance am i stupid to even concider this or all things r forgiveble right. I have read some answers and i want to say that i was a drunk and i have not been the best person in the world so i guess i just want to let u guys know i did not want to have this be about bringing her or me down with negative words and talk she is a amasing women and i just wanted to know i guess y i cant get over it and i cry myself to sleep and as soon as i wake i reach for her. i dont feel normal and i have nobudy to share my pains with and help me carry my mistakes . this is the first time i have said these things out loud. i am looking to heal. and i know spelling not good
12 Answers
mom
Best answer!
Rejection and betrayal have to be the two most painful things to get past in a relationship that's supposed to be built on trust. I am so sorry that your wife made those poor choices.It's easy to tell you to move on when we're on the outside, but oddly one can see much clearer when looking in on a situation like this.I have to think that sometimes when one is rejected, it is hard to see that by staying together and trying to prove your worth to someone that clearly doesn't respect the vows, will in more cases than not, not work.Your wife doesn't show signs that her commitment to you is even close to what you value. I have to question why you would want to pour your love out on someone who clearly doesn't want it.I do suggest that you find a counsellor to talk to because your trust issue has been broken. I hope for your sake, that this does not design your future thoughts on all women. Let yourself heal and see that some things just aren't going to work no matter how loving or committed you are. Time is necessary for you to see clearly. I am again sorry that this has happend but I also know through experience that time heals all wounds and one day you will be able to look back at this mess and see that it's behind you.
| 13 years ago. Rating: 10 | |
Tommyh
Sorry for you.Sorry that you had to put all of that out there on a forum like this.My advice:- She did it once,she will do it again & keep on doing it as long as there are no real repercussions.SOOO - Move on my friend,let her know you ain't puttin' up with it no more!! Just tell her she won't have Serenitynow to kick around any more.Good luck with it!
| 13 years ago. Rating: 9 | |
Headless Man
IluvJesus
Moving on is whats best,but who am I to tell you what choices to make,all I know is the longer you dwell and hold on,the longer it will hurt,if you allow yourself the opportunity you will love again,and what you have learned from this marriage will make you stronger for the next.Don't sell yourself short...you deserve better!Good luck,and God bless!
| 13 years ago. Rating: 8 | |
Colleen
Move on. She has no interest in this marriage anymore. You would never be able to trust her again anyway and constantly questioning her and following her and checking up on her would just make her disassociate herself from you anyway. Other than your feelings, there's nothing in this I can see worth saving. You say God gave her to you as a gift, apparently he made a mistake. Try picking your own next time.
| 13 years ago. Rating: 7 | |
Mmouse
dowsa
PANDA
schubee
Chiangmai
Love is a game in which one always cheats. ~ Honore de Balzac
| 13 years ago. Rating: 4 | |
"and with true love, everlasting love ... somebody loses."
Somebody famous said that one too. However, they phrased it a lot better than I could.
Umbriel
You'd never have known about this 'relationship' whatever it was - and I can't see a 'kiss on the cheek' lasting a whole summer any more than you can - had she not told you about it. She therefore wanted you to know. A likely (though not certain) presumption is that she wanted to gauge your character thereby. It sounds as if you have been tested and found wanting. However, you are under no obligation to accept her standards. Apply your own - if you have any.
| 13 years ago. Rating: 3 | |
itsmee
