22 Answers

A fart is a pleasant thing...
It gives the belly ease...

It warms the bed in winter...

And suffocates the fleas.

A fart can be quiet...

A fart can be loud...

Some just leave a powerful...

and Poisonous cloud

A fart can be short...

Or a fart can be long...

Some farts have been known...

To sound like a song.....

A fart can create...

A most curious medley...

A fart can be harmless...

Or silent...and deadly.

A fart might not smell...

While others are vile...

A fart may pass quickly...

Or linger for a while...

A fart can occur...

In a number of places...

And leave everyone there...

With strange looks on their faces.

From wide-open prairie...

To small elevators...

A fart will find all of...

Us sooner or later.

That farts are all bad...

Is simply not true...

We must never forget...

Sweet old farts like you!

Kinda brings a tear to your eye...right?

You may find me ugly, why must this be?

I came just to teach you, of love can't you see?

Although you may listen, and some of you not.

You'll have to find me, alone in your thought.

I brought you salvation, you gave me a tree.

To hang on and die, my love is for thee.

So if you accept me, there will be a place,

to live life eternal, in love, in God's grace.

There once was a painter named Saint
Who swallowed some samples of paint
All shades of the spectrun
Flowed out of his rectum
With a colorful lack of restraint!

Here you go my friendindeed...

There was once a man named McPhee

Who was stung in the balls by a bee

He made oodles of money

Oozing pure honey

Every time he attempted to pee!

Itty, Bitty, Mighty Moe

Catch Anybody by the toe

If they holla, let them go

Itty, Bitty, Mighty Moe

**Jenny Jenny swallowed my Penny.

Down her stomach it went.

Though she doesn't remember...

She still owes me a CENT. ;)**

Although I tried to wright

I only saw a page of white

Without a thought

I could not think

I had to write

or I would stink

With all my might

I tried and tried

But in the end

my dog walked by

and brought with him

a nice big smile

and so I go

to smile back

twas then he gave me

a great big smack!

Three old men on the golf course,

(Each had trouble hearing well)

Were playing a round on a breezy day,

When one blew over and fell.

"Windy, isn't it?" said one of them,

While helping the other to rise.

"No, it's Thursday," said the second man.

And they walked off to exercise.

The third man had listened intently;

Now he chimed in, with good cheer;

As he followed the others, he called out,

"So am I. Let's have a beer!"

Twinkle toes
tripped over the track
and into the truck
tripped twinkle toes.

You know what is funny
The word funny is funny
Funny things will make you laugh until you hold you tummy
??????????????

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE
CHRIST LOVES ME AS WELL AS YOU !!

The three legged dog lifted his knee,

but how could it happen, pee on a tree?

Fond memories of marking my territory,

lessons I've learned, but legs only three.

So I tried to aim, with all of my might,

to stand on front legs, was my new fight.

Then finally it happened, a hand stand to pee,

Who would of thunk it, with legs only three?

There was a young man called McHall
Who went to a fancy dress ball
He dressed as a tree,
But he failed to foresee
His abuse by the dogs in the hall

There once was a fly on the wall
I wonder why didn't it fall

Because its feet stuck

Or was it just luck

Or does gravity miss things so small?

The incredible Wizard of Oz

Retired from his business becoz

due to up-to-date science,

To most of his clients,

He wasn't the Wizard he woz.

Come on vote for the good ones and for a great questian

After eating baked beans one day
It was up to my friends to pay
They ran holding their noses
Did not smell like roses
Now they are all far away

Don't ever ask a centipede
to play a game of soccer.
Remember, he has 50 pairs
of sneakers in his locker.

He dribbles 50 soccer balls
with 50 pairs of shoes,
and kicks them all concurrently.
He doesn't often lose.

He's such a fierce competitor
that, if you ever meet,
at first you'll see his hundred legs
and then you'll see defeat.

i didn't write this by the way :)

As soon as Fred gets out of bed

His underwear goes on his head.

His mother laughs “Don’t put it there,

A head’s no place for underwear!”

But near his ears, above his brains,

Is where Fred’s underwear remains.

At night when Fred goes back to bed,

He deftly plucks it off his head

His mother switches off the light

And softly croons,”Good night! Good night!”

And then, for reasons no one knows

Fred’s underwear goes on his toes.

Hickory Dickory Dock

Two mice ran up the clock

The clock struck one

And the other got away with minor injuries

Hickory Dickory Dock
The mouse ran up the clock
The mouse ran down
His arse was brown
So was the cuckoo's cock.

This is a question for you.
Have you ever went to the loo.
your in a rush and dont bother to flush.
And leave behind a bowl full of poo

They said I have a big nose
An end as red as a rose
When it starts to run
Its not much fun
Because everyone thinks its a hose