5 Answers

Don't know Jenn. You know the house I grew up in. Mental and physical abuse but as far as relationships go for me, the only green pasture is the person I'm with. Maybe it's more about selfishness and the inability to fully commit to one person. The fear of missing out on "something better".  You need to stop fixating on this. You're going to drive yourself nuts over it. You can not change people like that. They have to recognise their failings and change themselves.

12 years ago. Rating: 6
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But they still know it's a wrong thing to do. Everyone makes mistakes, some make more.

12 years ago. Rating: 5
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Personally, I think it stems from what the person is feeling within themself. No one knows what a person is feeling within themself, better than themself. They might put on a smile for the world, and continue doing what they think and believe is right. But inside, they just might feel crushed and beaten down, unable to communicate what they need to, to the person it needs to be communicated to in order to bring about the needed change. So, all the person is left with is just plain old despair, with no real hope of change viewable on the horizon...and in a moment of weakness or temptation, emotions rule.

Some spouses might not be physically abusive, but emotionally, they are experts at ruining what should be the happiest of times. Almost as though, little by little, they are sucking the life right out of you...leaving someone really wondering why they are still sticking around. But then there's kids at issue, who want the happiness they have thus far grew up knowing, in a family with a mother and father together. Then the spouse who is the emotionally abusive one, reels the other spouse back in, only to start the cycle all over again. After awhile, there is really only a shell of a person left, who often finds refuge in their work and the times they get to enjoy with their kids. I think that's when people become vulnerable to excercising poor judgement. For there is never really a shortage of women or men, who for as wrong as it might be, want someone elses spouse and make it readily known they are available.

Like I said, no one really knows what goes on in someone's head better than that person themself. Over the years I have known a couple of people who acted completely normal around everyone, only to find out they went home and killed themself. And that is yet just another example of how little we really know of what is going through someone's head at times. Like eggplant said, it most likely was something that was bubbling from within. 

12 years ago. Rating: 5
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I think the daddy, mummy issue is just an excuse. Everybody knows what's right and what's wrong. I think it was most likely something that was bubbling from within. Sooner or later it comes out. Basically, every human is good, it's their behaviour which is not good.

12 years ago. Rating: 3
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Listen to Colleen Jenn, I can`t add much to her good advise except to say he may have ideas of putting you as another notch on his bed head and is trying to sucker you in because you feel sorry for him.

Colleen said you are perhaps a little naive, well sweet one you are far too naive for your own good, toughen up just a little.
You comment that he is no longer friends with you and your husband, tell him that, tell him he is no longer welcome at your home.

Jenn, you cannot help someone who will not help themself.

My offer to talk is still open if you ask Colleen she can pass on my details.

Pardon my french but piss him off for good.

12 years ago. Rating: 1
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