My friend bouight a new car. It was the bees knees. He was so proud of it. I took a photo of his number plate and a photo of a similar car which had been written off in a crash. I put his number plate on photo shop and copied it onto the wreck. I purchased a news paper and printed out the photo to look like a newspaper clip and typed a brief report saying smashed by garage whilst out joy riding. I changed the papers date too. Cut out the main headline and pasted my article in. His car went to the garage for a service the next day. I placed the newspaper on his coffee table in his office knowing he would read it. I telephoned him to say I thought I had seen his new car racing at high speed that very morning. I went to the garage and waited for him to turn up. When he did he saw his car but was convinced it was not his. Until I appeared and said April Fool.

I'm not a vindictive person but had to do this to my son in law. He thought it would be funny to fart in my face when I was asleep. But not when I repaid him. When he sleeps he goes into a dead sleep and you have to shake the guts out of him to wake him up. His baby son, one of my grandsons needed a nappy change. so I took a tiny piece of it and with a iceicle stick shoved it up his nose. When he woke all he could smell was shit. He looked at his shoes, around the house and even put the dog out. But everywhere he went that day he had this pong going with him. Never farted in my face again.

Well friendindeed you will just love this one. Many years ago I was a police dog handler in the Royal Air Force. An officer pilot complained about my dog peeing on one of his bombs about to be loaded on to his aircraft. I took exception to this cos when you have to go you have to go. Dogs are no different. I took note of his aircraft. Later that night before their trip I found the biggest wet dog turd I could find and placed it in his cockpit. It was a windy night. When he climbed into the cockpit his foot would have landed right into it. At 36,000 feet shit smell awful and you can't get away from it.

I found and old tape recorder and recorded a message of a person who was stuck down a drain and placed it in the drain. A crowd soon gathered and started to talk to the tape recorder although they could not see it. They got down on their knees and tried to reach in. I stood up and said I would ring the fire deptment. But I sat on the bench across the road and just waited to see how many people would stop. 22 untill the tape started to play the radio station that was already on the tape. The drain was so small you would struggle to get a rat in it let alone a man.

I phoned an uncle once and told him at 2am this is Brit telecom with your early morning call. He complained bitterly and said he had not requested the call. So at 4am I called back to say it was Brit telecom again and that he was right he had not requested the alarm call. At 6am I called back and said we won't charge you for the call.

A. How far is it, B. How many miles to the gallon does your car do. check the log book. C. How much does the fuel cost per litre.

This is a tricky one. Life is conceived at conception but not as a baby I believe that but I also agree with Coleen that the soul enters the child when or just prior to the birth but there will be many who will not agree,

I met a man in Spain last week who has just had a tripple heart by pass. He was the happiest man I've seen for a while. His choice was have it done or die. Now he was with his wife, son and thre beautiful grand children. He like you have a choice as Coleen says, you have the right to refuse medication. and if you really want to die then that is your choice too. If it was me I would reach out and take anything offered to spend just one more hour with my family. I don't know what your circumstances are but I guess it is heart. If you take the medication you say it could cure you. So what's so wrong with that. sounds pretty darn good to me. So if it does not work then you may die any way. We all die. none of us know when, how or where but we all live too and do that. Live for as long as you can and enjoy every second of it. I hope in some tiny way I have helped you make the right decision. I would hate to think that you have died when you could just as easily have lived.

I once found a dead mouse tied catgut fishing line to it and towed it around a supermarket. Screams on every lane

Hi you should try this it works very well on any type of dog (no not a hot dog ) for those of you who may be thinking that. Get a pair of ladies tights or stockings nylon. Brush your dog as usual then put your hands into the nylons like a pair of gloves and smooth over the dogs back with the hair flow. This will remove all the loose hairs and they will stick to the nylons static. The Royal Air Force police dogs are done this way. But if it is excesive hair loss this could be caused by a fungus dogs pick up in grass. See your vet.