97 Answers (31-60 Displayed)

Rupert - give me your address now and I'll make sure someone comes over to look at Joan before it's too late.
What's your number? I'll give you a buzz and tell you what you need to do.

Rupert, I might be able to help.
Send me your email and I'll tell you what I have in mind.

Rupert, your stories made me think about WW2 perhaps you can answer my question here

I have so many other questions I'd like to ask a veteran like yourself, I hope you have the energy to answer them all.

Much obliged.

Happy birthday dear Rupert. I hope you enjoy the restaurant.
I think you might want to consider replacing the maid, there's no need for you to feel uncertain about her (whether she stole or didn't steal your dough).

Really sad story about Sid, poor chap. Looks like I'll be sad for the rest of the day after that reading that ordeal.

Keep the faith.

Rupert - I was deeply touched by your posts.
I hope the bad dreams will go away and that you and Mary had the opportunity to say a proper good bye to each other.
Could you tell us a bit more about Mary, she must have been a wonderful spouse.
Please come back to akaqa and disregard the foolish people who doubt you.
I believe I speak for most of us here when I say that we feel grateful for you and your kind for sacrifices you've made in the past.

God be with you!

Have you tried Gas-X?

I am so glad to hear that evrything is ok with joan. Please dont do this again. Please proise me.
Do you think that the maid killed your parrot? Do you think she might have poisned you?
I ahave a very bad feeling about her, i think she is trying to steal your money. Best thing to do is call a friend and get some help. I will be more than happy to assist you.

What did you do after the army? Please tell us i know a lot of people here follow your threads and are very curious to know you better.

Rupert i hope everything is allright. If i dont hear from you soon i am going to call the police this is not something i am willing to take responsibility over.

Rupert you are an angel!
I am sure Mary is looking down from heaven and misses you very much.

You have mentioned several times that you are extremely rich, will you share that story with us? How did a poor soldier managed to get so far all by himself.
I am certain that this is going to be one hack of a story. Good night old chap.

Rupertsoul you have gone very quiet are you well or have you just ran out of wind?

Are the budgies green when you buy them or do they turn green?
During the war people were issued with gas masks,what did they do for budgies?maybe you could source
a tiny little mask before you purchase Billy13.

How is Sleeping Beauty? While she is still asleep ,check out your wallet to make sure nothings missing, have a good look in Mary's ashes to make sure the diamonds still in there ,if anythings missing have a route through her bag ,you never know what you might find in there!

Ah ,Encourager , Don't discourage Rupertsoul, although I don't usually read fiction I must admit to enjoying this tale . I reckon by next Christmas we will be seeing it in the Fiction Department of Waterstones. " The Extraordinary Tales Of Windy Rupertsoul" with reviews such as ; a must read This Mans Life's A Gas .

IvorNearache , How did Rupert know your email?

I have to say that this is better than Coronation Street It should be on the TV

Don't worry if she is still breathing she will be OK just keep an eye out for her. Let her sleep it off

ahh what can I say....hope Billy is ok

No offence Volcane but at this moment I would not advise Ruprt to send his private email to anyone. He is obviously vulnerable. Anything you 'have in mind' can be spoken about openly?

I love you Rupert

You are a doubter papermoon. I don't know why you don't just try to help people instead of knocking all the time. Quite simple. If you look back 2 years Rupert wrote about a problem with violent grouprs of young men hanging around the front doors of his apartments and we exchanged e-mails.
Satisfied???

Walking will help...

Try wearing a diaper. It worked for me.

Hello again. I haven't slept all night what with the pain in my stomach and worrying about the events of yesterday and the fact i go into hospital on Monday. I have a feeling I won't come back.
Oh well. Someone asked me about Mary. Thank you for the interest.
Before I met Mary I managed to get a job as a 'can lad' on a building site. This involeved doing labouring work and makink the tea. It was made in big containers like cans. The girls used to take some interest in me as the work made me quite muscular and they said I looked like Errol Flynn. How different was that to the thin pasty faced man woth one eye and disfiguers that returned from war.
me and the ladsused to hang round in the evening on street corners smoking fags. None of us had sex . It was just not on in thise days. Apart that was from a girl called Christine Allcock. When she came out of the front door we all chanted 'Allcocks out lads!' She used to take us one by one into her terraced house (It smelled of cat pee). She used to give us a wank and youd give her a cigarette. You could buy cigarettes separately then They were called twopenny loosies cos they were loose and usually the man opened a pack of five Woddbines.
Anyway we started going to the ice rink cos you could see the girls legs there. One day my world changed when a vision glided on to the ice. She was a perfect skater, not like the rest who all fell over laughing. That was mary and I lost my heart. There and then. It was like a thunderbolt just hit me. But she was obviously not poor like us . She had beutiful legs and new skates and a little pink feathery ruff around her neck and her cheeks glowed peachy red with the cold from the ice. She was simply the most perfect thing in the world. But I knew I'd have no chance with her.
From then on I used to go to the rink every night hoping I would catch a glimpse of her. Then I started taking skating lessons so I could be on the same ice and near her. Then one evenin
Oh well I'm tired andI need to take me tablets so I'll go now
Gos bless

Oh dear hello all. Well Joan just woke up and is having a cup od tea. She said she must have been tired. So I called her a taxi and she is going home.

i am so sad after this awful day. She's gone so that's ok but I still have the hospital appointment on Monday and they say I will be in for a week. Something to do with the tumour pressing on an artery. Anyway ..
I am more sd because I looked at Billy the budgie whilst Joan was asleep and he was on his little back with his legs in the air. I don't know if I can take much more.

I put Billy on the oven and roasted him so I could collect the ashes.
I have had 12 budgies so far All called Billy. All green. I bought a job lot of little urns and they are all lined up next to mary.
I been smoking too much all day but I don't care. I think I'll go and make myself a cup of hot chocolate. You know people when they watch War films think that you get shot and fall down.But it's not like that. I saw boys of 17 with a hand blown off and they scream. Scream for their mums or dads.
I think papermoon is a bright young thing I would love to speak to her. She's like the daughter I never had I think.
Oh well I'll go out tomorrow and buy Billy 13

hello..sorry to bother you again but I don't know what to do. I've done an AWFUL thing. I came back from my little walk this morning and the gang of boys were still there in the entrance to the apartments kicking a football. They all wore those baseball caps and training things. I was very frightened. The doorman stays behind his desk and never comes out.
So these people started dancing around me calling me Fartypants and saying things about my eye because I lost the other one in the War. Well thet kept saying things like. 'Eye eye old man' and 'We'll keep an eye out for yer' and 'It'll see yer through the week' Then they took my cap off and threw it up a tree. Anyway I managed to get to the door and farted just as I got in. I hope they all got a whiff.
So I went into the flat and that Joan was still there with Billy the Budgie. She was drunk I think and kept on and on about how I should give her all my money and she started to call me a naughty boy and gave me little slaps. So I was fed up with her and the gang and I found a letter in the hallway saying I have to go into hospital next week for more tests.
So I made her a cup of tea but before I gave it to her I crushed 4 of my sleeping tablets and let them dissolve. She drank the lot and fell asleep after half an hour on the couch. That was 6 hours ago and she is still there and I am frightened she won't wake up.
Billy still hasn't eaten anything.

Hello dear feinds. It does hurt an old dying man to see nasty remarks like encouraging wrote. I have wondered whether to stop writing but the doctor says it is good for me.
Pascal, dear sweet girl asked about my money. I did tell you that I was abandoned by my mother, who was a fallen woman, in a paperbag in the public toilets in Manchester next to Kendals. Apparantly , according to the Sisters of Mercy who brought me up and gave me the name ,Rupert, after the little bear (they said I looked likeI needed a cuddle)my mother eventually came and owned up she was the mother but as she had no money and was living with a drunken sailor in Ramsbottom, was not in a position to take me back.
Years later I got a letter from solicitors in Africa who told me I had been traced as the only living reletive of Barthomelew Boersted who had mad a fortune in diamonds (my mother had died by this time of palsy) He left me his mine and a lot of money but I have never been there. Now the Africans have taken it back but I got most of the money and a few diamonds, one of which is in the jar with Mary's ashes.
So I am going for a little walk now. Joan the cleaner is coming and I don't want to be here. She is still going on about my giving her authority to use my savings accounts in case I get ill but I am not sure. I suppose I will have to do it before my 6months on the earth is up.Also I an still sure she had something to do with the ?2000 that went from my wallet last week and since then she has aquired a nice gold watch and I don't know how she could have afforded that on 10 pounds an hour.
Billy the Budgie is my only friend now and he still won't touch his seed.
My farting hasn't improved either and the kids who smoke in the entrance to the apartments are calling me Johny Fartipants.
I wish I had more freinds but at 90 there are not many peple of the same age. It was different when I was young. All laughing and joking as we went to sighn up to be soldiers. 'Your Country needs You' they said and men in uniform stood outside pubs and said it would be all over by Christmas and we wouls soon polish off Johnny Boche. Then we all sighned up and everyone clapped us on the back and waved us goodbye as the train pilled out of the station. All the girls gave us flowers and cigarettes andwe felt we were going on holiday. Three weeks later 6 out of seven of us were laying dead in a French field. Anyway I am off for a walk now. I can hear Joan unlocking the door.
Gos bless

Hello dearest friends. I think I have found a few freinds Thank you so much. I am thinking about Volcanos kind offer. Freinds apart from papermoon but I'll forgive her she is probably very young..but she will learn.
I had a lovely meal with Mary's ashes in the carrier bag next to me. I held her handle. It was avery posh restaurant and I put on my demob suit, the one they gave me when I was discharged from the army and it still fitted me. Mind you I have lost a lot of weight recently what with the tumour and the worry about my flatulence.
The only thing that marred a perfect occasion was when I let one go as the waiter served the jam roly poly.I noticed his eyes raise but he said nothing bless him.
I had told them it was my birthday and they know I have money so they were very nice and the flowers for Mary were beautiful. I did have a little cry though I don't think they minded.
I gave the taxi a large tip. Well you can't take it with you. Can you?
Now i am back in the apartment and the doctor has told me it's good therapy to share my feelings with you as it is good psycotrepy.
Mary is back onthe Mantlepiece. Billy is still very quiet. I gave him fresh seed this morning but he hasn't touched it. I hope he hasn't caught a chill.Chilly Billy...I made a joke there. Anyway I want to watch Coronation street on the telly so I'll go
God bless

Thank you I am off now. I would like Joan (the cleaner) to leave me alone but I am afraid to ask her. She is a big woman with arms like hams. Sometimes she clips me over the ear and pretennds it was an accident. She also is talking about me sighning over my money to her as I wont be able to go to the Post office soon but I am not sure.
I don't know whether my farting is doing Billy any good. He is very quiet today and just sitting in the corner of his cage. Not a twitter.

Thank you dear dear Volcane. As I said earlier the tumour is growing fast so I will not bother papermoon much longer. Sounds such a gentle name as well....Oh well. I am rather frightened as my cleaner has arriived and as she has been the only person in the apartment I don't know who else could have taken the ?2000 from my wallet. Matbe she is right and I am going senile.
It's my birthday today and I went to the postoffice and sent myself a present from Billy the Budgie ..Have I told you this before?
Oh yes David asked me how i coped in the war. I was lucky. The noise was awful what with the constant bombing from Jerry. I was lucky I got badly injured at Ipres and was sent home. I lost the sight of one eye but it got me out of that living hell. Some lad (who were very young0 could not take it and shot themselves in the foot so they could go home.
I remember a lovely young boy Sid. he was only 18 and couldn't stand it. In the end he was running around saying he was a rabbit. The officers had no sympathy. At last he just ran.Just ran away fron the Germans screaming.'I am a rabit You can't touch me' Anyway they caught him and tokk him to a Court Marshall. He was found guilty of cowardice and he was sentenced to death by firing squad.
They said he spent all night waiting to be shot and they filled him up with whiskey. The following morning he could not stand so they tied him to a chair and shot the poor blighter.
Well as it is my birthday I am taking Mary's ashes in a carrier bag to a local restuarant wher we used to go in happier times. She will be with me and I have asked for flowers on the table.
God Bless you all (if there is a God ..I don't know)

It is personally normal to pass gas or burp up to 10-15 times a day which is perfectly normal. You need to check your diet it would have to be something that your eating everyday or intaking(medication) that is causing the realising of these gases. try taking a laxative once a week that would not prevent the gases, but alleviate the smell...