1 Answer

It continues to sound like some depression, jersy, remembering your last question.  You definitely have my empathy; I understand what you are feeling, even if my circumstances are different than yours. 
I think the road needed for MY fulfillment and rise from the monotony is going to be faith based. It may help you as well.  Contrary to what some may say, it can't hurt to place your fate with a higher power and listen carefully for direction.  
May I suggest you start/continue to journal what's going on in your life and around you.  Sometimes you can make a revelation just be rereading what you've written.   Again, if you have a counselor or trusted adult, please talk to that person.