sunnyB
2 Answers
ROMOS
A Scotsman, an Irishman, and an Englishman are each sentenced to a year in solitary confinement; before being locked away, each is to be granted a year's supply of whatever he wants to help him get through the long, long spell alone.
The Scotsman asks for a year's supply of whisky; it's given to him and he's locked away.
The Irishman asks for a year's supply of Guinness so he's locked up with several thousand bottles of it.
The Englishman asks for a year's supply of cigarettes and he's given a pile of cartons and the cell door is shut on him.
One year later the doors are all unlocked.
The Scotsman staggers out and shouts, 'I'm free!' and then keels over dead from alcohol poisoning.
The Irishman is dragged out into the light, whereupon he promptly dies of liver failure.
When the door to the Englishman's cell is opened, everybody watches eagerly to see what sort of a wreck the man has made of himself.
To their surprise, he walks right out the door, sidles up to the first person he sees, and asks, 'I say you wouldn't happen to have a match, would you?'
| 11 years ago. Rating: 8 | |
Dardaigh
Ha ha ha ha ...love it, Sunny. (((hugs)))
An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman come across a genie.
The genie grants them one wish each!
The Englishman wished to be on a tropical island.
The Scotsman wished to be back in the highlands
and the Irishman wished to have the Englishman
and Scotsman back because he was lonely!
| 11 years ago. Rating: 6 | |
An Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman were in a bar drinking somewhere is South America.
They noticed a pot of money in the corner and asked the barman what was it there for.
"Well" said the barman, "That is there for the taking for anyone who can 1:Drink a full bottle of tequila in two minutes 2:Go into that box over there with a lion inside and pull a thorn from the lion's foot. 3: Finally, go upstairs and make love to a 100 year old woman".
"What happens if we fail?" they inquired.
"If ye fail and survive", the barman said, "ye'll be sold as sex-slaves to a local tribe".
Despite the risks they said they would try it. The Englishman goes first and after half the tequila he collapses drunk and is taken away to be sold.
The Scotsman is next. He downs the tequila and staggers to the lion cage.The door is closed and there is a quick scream as he is eaten alive by the lion, unable to defend himself.
The Irishman drinks the tequila and stumbles towards the lions den. The door is closed behind him and almost immediately there are the most spine-curdling screams and shouts coming from the cage which lasts all of ten minutes.There is banging up against the sides of the box and everything and then silence.
The Irishman emerges battered, bleeding and torn - "Now" he says, " Where is that lady with the thorn in her foot?"
What where dey all doin' down in S.A. anyways? lol ;)
