valR
1) "Sure. I'll throw the trash out right now." - translates to - "If I remember to throw out the trash during the commercial break, I will do so. If I forget, then you'll have to remind me again. Shhh, runners on first and third, no outs." (Go Yankees)
2) "Is something wrong?" - translates to - "What did i do wrong now? And how long is it going to take for you to figure out how to blame me for whatever it is you're upset about? I don't have all night."
3) "Sure, what do you want to talk about?" - translates to - "I will sit and listen, but I can't promise you that I'll pay attention. You have 3 minutes before the game comes back from commercial break.... annndddddd GO."
4) "No, that doesn't make your butt look big" - translates to - "When you know 'no' is the only answer, why do you ask?"
5) "No, she's not prettier than you" - translates to - "Same as #4. How stupid do you think i am? It's a rhetorical question, you don't have to answer it. Although, I have a feeling you'll let me know anyway."
6) "I'm sorry." - translates to - "I don't know what I'm apologizing for, but it seems to be the only thing that'll let me watch the rest of this darn game."
7) "You're right, I'm wrong." - translates to - "You are angry. I am hungry. You don't cook when you're angry. Soooo..."
8) "Thank you" - translates to - "While you're up cooking, can you make that pie I really like?".
9) "You are beautiful" - translates to - "Now that the game is over, and we're done eating... how about we... you know... (wink wink)."
4 Answers
jhharlan
Clever but, these aren't question or statements I would normally ask/make.....
| 11 years ago. Rating: 4 | |
Chiangmai
Start increasing your insurance coverage and possibly change your beneficiaries. Sleep in a fetal position for the next 10 weeks. A football helmet is highly recommended and should be worn 24/7 henceforth. Do not make eye contact with her. Avoid getting too close to her while she is using her frying pan as it could turn out to be a flying pan. Stop the wink wink in the foreseeable future and resume fetal position immediately. If you must, make love with the lights on to ensure that you can detect sharp instruments hidden anywhere. Stress safety safety safety first.
Finally, never ever mention the name Duane Bobbitt.
| 11 years ago. Rating: 4 | |
Ed1530
I don’t know what you are talking about my wife never asks if she is fat and we are white trash so we just live in it. My wife always brings me wine when I am watching the game. Here is the proof of that, so you do not think I am lying.
<sorry, picture was reported as offensive >
| 11 years ago. Rating: 4 | |
valR
