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    Has anyone ever passed away while you were present?

    Sadly I have been in the presence of several people, some family, some friends and two complete strangers. It left an uneasy feeling knowing that my face was the last one they looked upon before dyeing


     


     


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    +10  Views: 1205 Answers: 24 Posted: 12 years ago
    bulletman

    Ed, at least they did not die alone.

    24 Answers

    Unfortunately that is the case for many of us.


    My strongest memory of dead people, was seeing hundreds of bodies floating in the English Channel, when I arrived on my ship at Normandy, three days after the invasion in 1944.


     

    Vinny

    Terrible that you must carry that through the years. Worse for the families of those brave soldiers. I salute you.
    ed shank

    I salute you. I can't imagine something that horrible.
    Jack Large

    Thank your! That memory still brings tears to my eye when I speak of it
    ROMOS

    My Dad was there too Sir,never spoke a word about the war, he served for 7yrs(1939-1946)
    RESPECT
    Jack Large

    Twenty of us volunteered to serve when we were in high school, twelve blacks and eight white guys.

    We were given our diplomas at the end of March and went into the Service.

    I got into the Navy, we had eight weeks of boot camp and were then deployed.

    Back then black men could only be cooks, laundrymen or waiters for the officers.

    I was lucky I got too serve the officers and to eat what they ate. ;)

    Only five of us survied, me and another black guy and three whites. I'll be 86 next month and the only one left

    All six of the guys that went to the Marines were killed on Iwo Jima, in the first day
    ROMOS

    Good on you Sir,
    RESPECT again!
    dowsa

    You have see it all more than most people would in a life time or times .Sad Memory's Jack May you be blessed with "Health my thoughts go with you.
    ed shank

    I salute again. Thank God for people like you. We owe you a debt of gratitude that could never be paid.
    Ann

    Jack, you are a hero. The war was devasting to so many people and the memories must be haunting to see so much death.
    clu

    Bless you Jack! I hope you attain peace We are all very thankful for your service!xxoo
    nomdeplume

    My father was not in the Normandy landings, but he served in N Africa and Sicily. He never spoke about the war either. One wonders about the psychological problems of those who are serving in Afghanistan now. ' When will they ever learn' Joan Baez.
    mycatsmom

    I'm sorry you had to see that, Jack, but thank you for the service to your country
    Daisy!

    That's were my grandparents lived.

    Three times, and believe me it,s something that you,ll NEVER forget.


    Life goes on though.

    ed shank

    I agree, it stays with you forever.
    shanej

    Life does go on, and you are correct about never forgetting. Every time I look at family trees of mine, I remember.

    Both parents.        :(

    ed shank

    I lost my step-father this year, I know your pain.
    dowsa

    my thoughts go with you Ducky.
    Ann

    That is the most painful thing to happen. I was there when both my mom and dad passed away too. The world seems to get smaller and smaller.
    mycatsmom

    and when you lose your beloved aunts adn uncles, it's no picnic either :-(

    Both, my parents, my grandparens, my husband and many people during the war in Germany. Very sad and hauting memories.

    ed shank

    My mother as well, she was 12 when the war broke out and lost many siblings, her father was killed by the Nazi's. Sad time in human history.
    mycatsmom

    I'm sorry for you, Ann. My grandmother came to the states from Germany before W W II
    Ann

    Ed, Those were terrible times. Im was way too young to comprehend the implications of the war until we were deported to Germany So sorry about your grandfather
    Colleen

    Moderator
    Ann, you've seen so much more and lost so much more than the most of us. I admire your strength and ability to still care about people without question of where they come from.

    Yes, all my great grandparents.

    ROMOS

    Always remember with fondness and respect though eh?
    ed shank

    Reminds us all of our own invincibility.

    My grandfather who lived with me. I took care of him for his last 5 years. I was there at his bedside holding his hand, stroking his hair and talking to him while he took his final breathes. He was never alone outside of my bathroom breaks or when I took care of the pets. I stayed with him because he meant so much to me that I needed to share in this next journey of his as best as I could.

    ed shank

    Stepfather number two held my hand, looked me in the eyes as said " I love you, son", and he was gone.
    Colleen

    Moderator
    Mine thanked me for letting him go. He so wanted to see his Poppy (my grandmother) again. It was hard but at the same time, I felt at peace because he wanted to go and I loved him enough to let him go. I had called in hospice two weeks prior at his request. I could have said no and kept him longer but I couldn't do that to him. He was ready and his Poppy was waiting.......
    I will see him again. This I know.
    bulletman

    Colleen, i admire what you said. being there till the end for your Grandfather.
    Colleen

    Moderator
    Thank you B.M. I was so thankful I was able to share the experience with him.
    mycatsmom

    Ed, that's touching. You must have been a good step-son.
    Ann

    Colleen, my grandparents always were an important part of the family. My grangfather died shortly after we were deported to Germany. My Grandmother was my life. I loved her so much and we took care of her at home until she died.
    Colleen

    Moderator
    Yes mycatsmom and I was a good granddaughter. How are your feral cats by the way? Still locked in the basement? Out of sight out of mind? How is the diseased one? Been to see a vet yet?
    Colleen

    Moderator
    Ann, it's a beautiful thing being able to have them at home. I feel sad for the people who do not have the ability to do this.
    mycatsmom

    Colleen, I don't have feral cats, and all 3 of my cats are healthy. And they have the run of the house.They're in here, in the TV room with me bumping their heads up against my leg, and I'm brushing them.
    Colleen

    Moderator
    Really? Not in the basement? Hmmm, so what about all the questions about them? The one who was missing the litter box and dedicating all over the place including the main floor and then basement. Not allowed upstairs because of the fleas, the fleas! The question about your cat getting up into the basement ceiling and making loud thumping noises. And.....well I have to check you other questions for the rest.....I know I'm not crazy. I've seen just about all your questions about your basement cats.

    Yes, but depends how question is asked. reason

    ed shank

    No specific reason, just curious, it effected me in a strange way.

    No.   I'm sure it will be difficult for me.

    being that I was an LPN , I saw many people die. But, when my  mom died, the E R personel made me miss her dying by a few minutes, b/c they moved her to anoher room, and when I came back from the cafeteria, nobody seemed to know where she was. When I finally found her, she looked like she had just died a minute or two or three, before I came in . I wish I could have held her in my arms while she was dying, but at least I held her just after she died, adn she looked peaceful. I  told the male nurse I think my mom has just died, You better check her. He just  kept writing in a chart, and didn't look at me and didn't say anything. So, I told him again adn he didn't say anything......just went over to her, listened to her heart, and didn't say anything. I had to ask him if she died. He just shook his head yes, but barely perceptably.. I asked him if I could use the phone and he said yes......didn't even tell me there was a family room with a phone. Then I went to the main nurses desk in teh E R and told them my mother died......should I sign something ? The nurse at the desk looked shocked and clueless. Then, she said " Would you like to go in and see her ? She's still warm. "  I said no. It was she who told me about a familiy room that has a phone. so I went there and made a few phone calls, but nobody was home. I left and didn't know what to do . So, I went to the retirement home where she had lived an told them. It was dark and in Nov. of 2002  . I was alone in the hosp when my dad died too. That's a whole 'nother story

    ed shank

    A sad story, I would have more than upset with the staff.
    lambshank

    very sad,

    No, I can't  say that I have. But, I had been present just minutes after a man had hung himself. I found the bluish color of his face, and the fact that I knew and liked the guy to be disturbing. He had been going through a divorce, and having a hard time of it.

    ed shank

    Had a co-worker hang himself after hearing a rumor that his job was at risk. Obviously had some mental issues.
    mycatsmom

    Shootah, that would be traumatic.Where did you find him, or are you an EMS man ?

    My Step father died of cancer when I was 12, I was lucky enough not to have to face death at that time when I knew I couldn't handle it. I think it's very hard on children, I thank God that I didn't see my Dad die that day. Since then I haven't had anyone close to me pass away, at least when I'm in the same state. Death is a serious thing to witness and burns in our memories for a lifetime.

    ed shank

    Your right, it never leaves you.

    No, hopefully it does not happen.

    yes,at the hospital.

    Yes twice, my mother and my father in law, something strange happens, and you never forget.

    ed shank

    So true.
    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    What do you mean by strange?
    sunnyB

    It was something peaceful happened to them just before they went. It's hard to explain,it was as if all the strain of life left their body.

    Yes.


    A young soldier who had been shot in the chest, not a thing I could do about it, and I was supposed to be his "superior" Officer.


    Not very superior was I ?


    My sister died whilst I held her at age 88. I whispered to her "it is ok to go, you have been a wonderful sister but let go if you want. God is waiting for you"


    As most know I am A non believer but my sister was a firm committed christian and I was not about to pooh pooh her beliefs at that time.


    I have had other experiences but these two are the most "memorable"


    I felt hopeless and useless at age 22 with the soldier, but life goes on, I had sworn to do a job and I went on and kept doing it.


    I felt proud and privileged to be with my sister when I was 77 and the pulse in her neck stopped under my fingers.


     

    mycatsmom

    P L, I like how poetically you described that.
    ed shank

    Those were beautiful last words to your sister.

    Yes, many.  So many of them had a far away glaze to their eyes..I'm convinced they were seeing things that I could not...perhaps a glorious white light?  Some started babbling to people who had passed before them...people greeting them to help them 'cross over' ?  A few seemed to be looking at me..I tried my hardest to have warm and honest eyes looking back.  Being in battle, as you were, would, of course, be different.  thank you for serving as we say in the States!!!!!!

    ed shank

    War, good for nothing.

    I was in my mid twenty's.I decided to walk (which I never do) to my friends house several blocks away. An ambulance was double parked in the street and they were about to place an elderly man into the rear of the ambulance I noticed his eyes were closed and appeared to be sleeping or unconscious. His face was not covered so I assumed he was not dead. As I walked past the gurney, he open his eyes and looked straight at me and a huge smile appeared on his face. He lifted his arm as if to shake my hand, I took his hand in mine and what seemed to be only for a few seconds his eyes closed and I felt the life leave his body. His hand went limp. I realized suddenly the attendants were just standing there and watching me. They pulled the sheet over his face and left. That event has stayed with me till today. Although the passing of a loved one is very disturbing, that incident still is very clear. 


     


     

    I've seen several people pass and they talk to the ceiling or look at the ceiling and smile. I believe that the time right before death we are being introduced to a new world and can communicate with it. It's really a special moment when you see that happen before your eyes.

    Daisy!

    Some people talk about angels and the most beautiful cloth waving in a light breeze. This happened twice.

    I've seen too many.

    being that I was an LPN , I saw many people die. But, when my  mom died, the E R personel made me miss her dying by a few minutes, b/c they moved her to anoher room, and when I came back from the cafeteria, nobody seemed to know where she was. When I finally found her, she looked like she had just died a minute or two or three, before I came in . I wish I could have held her in my arms while she was dying, but at least I held her just after she died, adn she looked peaceful. I  told the male nurse I think my mom has just died, You better check her. He just  kept writing in a chart, and didn't look at me and didn't say anything. So, I told him again adn he didn't say anything......just went over to her, listened to her heart, and didn't say anything. I had to ask him if she died. He just shook his head yes, but barely perceptably.. I asked him if I could use the phone and he said yes......didn't even tell me there was a family room with a phone. Then I went to the main nurses desk in teh E R and told them my mother died......should I sign something ? The nurse at the desk looked shocked and clueless. Then, she said " Would you like to go in and see her ? She's still warm. "  I said no. It was she who told me about a familiy room that has a phone. so I went there and made a few phone calls, but nobody was home. I left and didn't know what to do . So, I went to the retirement home where she had lived an told them. It was dark and in Nov. of 2002  . I was alone in the hosp when my dad died too. That's a whole 'nother story

    mycatsmom

    P.S. I went to the cafeteria b/c they said she was picking up and I had low blood sugar.I didn't think she was going to die .
    witchway

    I'm sorry for the loss of your Mom and Dad and the experience you had at the hospital with a clueless staff. I wish that nursing schools would teach their students to be more respectful to everyone, patients and family included. Sending you hugs (((hugs)))

    Goes with the job. But emotional never the less I'm sure.

    No, but I was called by police late one night to identify 2 bodies, that of my best friend. and that of the man that had murdered her, both in coroners  vehicles at her home, something that has haunted me for years and probably will for years to come

    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    I suppose you're speaking of a murder-suicide. We had a Valentine's Day murder suicide occur here over 20 years ago. The girl was my next door neighbor and we attended the same school. Why do people turn something so beautiful(love) into such a tragedy!

    What a very special and exclusive, inclusive moment to be a part of.  You are seeing the living world and the transition to the world beyond at the same time.   That's incredibly special!!

    NO,...and , surprisingly, I have never questioned or wondered about this specific question.  I've always just taken the word of those that have,...perhaps afraid to experience it first-hand for myself,  thus far!!



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