59 Answers (31-59 Displayed)

.........when your dreams are dry and your farts are wet.

when everything works just like it used to but you forget what for.

You go to the store and ask the clerk where are the transistor radios? And the kid looks at you like you are speaking another language.

To go from one room to another, to get some thing, by time you get there, have forgotten, what we looking for..

When you ask the grocery teller how much three times.

Your back gets stiffer than your.........

you are getting old,when you find that ,the crusty chease roll you are eating,is to hard to chew,and reolize you have the wifes false teeth in by mistake,

When you do not have to turn around in the street to see if the guy is still looking at you. Also Oh My when someone offers you a seat on the bus or tube. Polite but a good feeling NOT.

When, all of a sudden  you HAVE to start using reading glasses for smaller print at age 48, when all your life prior to that  you had  20/10 vision,  not 20/20, but better than that and took it for granted that you could see THE smallest print clearly!!  And now you can't!!  :-(

Here are some ideas,

It takes you longer to rest,  than it does to get tired.

Everything hurts, what does not  hurt, does not  work.

Candles cost more than the cake.

You burn the midnight oil  till 9 pm.

You confuse having clear conscience with bad memory,

you feel like the morning after, even though you have not been out night before.

You find yourself standing in line, and do not know why.

You in a hurry to mail something at the post office before 5:00.  You stop to get some gas first.  Post office is only 2 blocks away from the gas station.  You go in Rotton Robbins and pay for your gas.  You run back out to your truck, jump in and drive off.  No gas.  You get in the post office and it occurs to you what you did.  You run back to gas station and luckily nobody got your gas that you paid for.  How old is that Tabber.

I know I'm getting old cause, when you've got to sit down for a leak , or you'll miss the pot.

"We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.........!"

(George Bernard Shaw)

when you fart dust h

... you keep telling kids that they sound like a "broken record" (i.e., they keep repeating the same **** over and over), and they respond, "What is a record?"

When it takes you a half an hour to get out of bed in the morning. Not because you're tired, but because your bones ache.

College kids look like high school kids, high school kids look like middle school kids, and so on and so forth.

I am getting old when I try to scratch my ear and stick my finger in my eye. Ha

When it takes a man all night get done with   what he used to do allnight.

dopey, I feel it is a reaction to stress. As we get older, stress affects us more so than younger people. I have finally learned , when stressed out about something, to deep breathe. Breathe in through your nose and push your tummy out, not in and hold as long as you can and then slowly exhale with your mouth open. Do that at least three times. It workes wonders for me.

You know when you are getting old when policemen and Doctors look really young!

When your kid starts laughing at the sounds you make geting out of a chair and starting to walk across the room.

Places on your body go "SOUTH" for the winter and stay south!

Tell me, Too raw was it ?

Getting all the AARP garbage in the mail.

When a beautiful girl rides past on a bycle and I think." wow thats a nice bike"

....when you blink your eyes and clear your mind

....forgetful 

You know you are getting old when bending down to get something is harder than standing up..>>>>>>><<<<<<<<..

.......... when you start forgetting you have Alzheimer's.

I would point out to you the quote above is from my wife.

My wife actively participates in the welfare of Alzheimer patients and I often accompany her on her visits.