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    CLOSED: the 7 year itch...men please answer this too

    I have been with my boyfriend for seven years and I can steadily see our relationship fading. I think there is a lot of taking for granted and being bored with each other. We don't live together so it is not that we spend all our time with each other.I have tried communicating but he just instantly goes off with frustration so I can't really tell him how I feel. I am no longer looking forward to having his company, he seems to pick at my intelligence and character when we are together and I join in on the pick battle in defense. Making love has become mundane... we have had a very passionate relationship for years. What is going on here...I need some ideas...how can this be restored?

    +1  Views: 1178 Answers: 9 Posted: 7 years ago
    mom

    Thanks for getting back to me...this relationship is worth saving...just not sure how

    mom

    ouch..sorry to hear that, I have not lost interest I am trying to find ways to help improve the situation. Any advice coming from a mans point of view?What could have both of you done to have changed the situation, how could have she talked with you about things without making you feel defensive?

    ole hipster

    Sweetheart..you are not alone!...been with the same boyfriend for almost 15 years and yes a lot of things fade with time...in my case for a lot of reasons (health, personal issues between he & I and so many other things) He is 10 years younger than I however I believe I am decades wiser than he in so many respects. I however, am the one who no longer much desires intimacy..he's not up to snuff in my book, I don't mean sexually but in so many other issues..I could tell you some stories! Anway, back to your question..we do live together..I'm running out of characters Mom,I'll get back to you!

    papa peg

    My wife left after 15 years.She didn't have the 7 year Itch.She had the computer chat room itch.

    9 Answers

    I know that in my relationship I was very comfortable and stopped appriciating the man I love the grass started looking greener on the other side at 3 ys ,7 yrs, and 11 years. It seems like a roller coaster. But if you love each other it is well worth the ride. Change something. Your routine, your hair they way you dress. I was actually bored with myself not him. We have been married 17 yrs and he is still the love of my life, I am totally in love and tomorrow I may want to punch him in the face. But we are totally worth the aggrivation.

    Raider_retired 3_29_

    Nicely put. This is coming from a single 38 yr old man. I envy you. Thumbs UP!

    In my case we are very honest... I can say.. "I am feeling so bored with my life... I want our relationship to mean more than just work kids and sleep... What do you think we can do."

    7 YR ITCH
    Fix-ups


    1. Talk to the wife, she wants to know you love HER only.


    2. Have sex with your husband, he NEEDS sex and respect.


    3. Talk and cuddle intimately BEFORE heavy sex sessions.


    4. ASK each other what you each need from the relationship.

    Alejandro Martinez

    I'm happy for you, Daren.

    daren1

    IVE STEPPED IN PUDDLES DEEPER THAN THAT

    As a man I got the itch a fews yrs back big mistake

    mom

    I am not scratching the itch...just trying to change it as I know if I am feeling tis way I am sure he is as well

    He is definitely worth the work, I am just looking for tips like this to improve things.I just bought April Wine tickets and taking him on a surprise date but how do I communicate that he has to give as well without creating his defenses to rise?It has to be give and take on both sides or am I wrong to feel that way?

    Perhaps a different hair style or a new hair color. I bet this can inspire a refreshing change.

    bootylicious_jen

    you sure tell it like it is huh tony ? thats why i luv U

    I know how you feel when you want himt o react the same way, right away. I've found that if you just keep doing what you do he'll eventually get the hint. It may not happen overnight or even in a month but it'll be worth it when he has had some alone time and the light bulb goes off on everything you've been doing. Best of luck mom, you're certainly not the only one!

    You ask how could your relationship be restored. Maybe it shouldn't be. Be great-full that you didn't marry your friend seven years ago and have three kids today. Your options would be considerably different with property, custody of the kids, and you can figure out the rest. I could never understand why women allow a partner to disrespect them, or for a man to stay with a woman that he feels is mentally inferior to him, or an idiot. Try not to analyze why it happen but accept the fact that it did happen. Move on.

    mom

    thanks for that but I think you may have misunderstood my intent with the question.We are still in love, I am just looking for ways to keep the spark sparkling...he is worth it

    Seven year itch....
    1. This is nonsense
    2. We are simply not built to be joined at the hip to one-another for years on end
    3. I am a moral person who is not promiscuous
    4. But this is a plastic world that we adhere to
    5. A set of rules that society has conditioned
    6. Yet are just like any other animals really

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