(Warning: This story could be very emotional for some people, specially for victims of abuse! Seek someone you trust, a friend or helper, if you really want to read it. )
It's crying inside my heart to see your question for the second time.
In my life I have had many help conversations with people who were abused, mostly woman. Sometimes they come up with their body full blue spots or -eye, tell me that they are cases of the staircase. But the fear in their eyes, which look around for safety, for a way out, tell me enough; He could be there again, telling that she indeed did fall and how he saved her, controlling her again and at home concluded his punishment and if he is ready give her the rewarding rape because she deserves love. Sometimes I got them as far they even tell there story to the police and a doctor confirms the damage as most certain abused, they got out to get the abuser but confronted with him she plays he's innocent, get in his arms and they have to let them go.
Some abusers are specialist in their dirty work and do not leave traces. But the worse thing abusers do is leaving there scars on the inside, physically or in spirit, make the victims feel dirty, let them feel they needed him/her as leader and make it so they feel lonely without them. When they got away they can't talk about it because going to the police is, without talking about the taking of evidence, the fear to again meeting him, the fear losing their lives, the shame telling in court what happened, the accusations to lie so some choose to silence, some forever.
It's crying inside my heart to see how often victims buried their past, sometimes behind multiple personalities, believing noting has happened, going on with their lives with the use of medication and all seems going alright till their need of love met a lovely partner who is so remarkably good that he gain her trust, got together and starting to 'work' on a child. Then the flashbacks are starting and eventually they seek for help. Sometimes I met them and then I see the cry in her eyes and the sadness in his. Its very difficult to keep them together. But she's still longing for love denies her fear and past and is looking for love, even with her or another abuser. God knows people need love, can't go on without love can't live without it, some won't to live without it.
At the moment I'm helping a mother and two children (4 and 11) for 4 months now all three abused, the mother for almost 40 years, the children from their first going trough a rough time now, but with the help from what we call heaven, who reach out in love for their children, I reached just yesterday a point of rest in their lives, sleeping for the first time in peace with Jezus and Maria at their side.
The mother also wanted to get back to her abuser and even the children because he looks so much as a nice person so their feel guilty, but now their awakened and feel free from him and their father and mother/grandfather and grandmother. We have still a long way to go, some things are never forget, but the mother found for the first time in her life a true lover also with children who has prove to have his heart on the right place and is making the children happy as a real father. Thank you Lord!
It's crying inside my heart to see how you Kelly are not yet free, didn't find love elsewhere and possibly fall for your abuser again. I wrote this specially for you to reach out in love, to ask to open your heart for the prayers, I know some included me has done them for you, to the Lord to help you to gain strength and to choose for yourself and give the final 'no' to him. So stand up, this is the first day of the rest of you life, seek help and get your life going because you deserve it!
In peace Puran.
(if a mod think this is to heavy for this site, please feel free to remove it.)