it's called a catalyst

I heard about something, that is based on ant-pherohormones. It prevents them to go into your house etc. Ants are very good for your plants though, gardens with lots of ants really flourish. The only drawback is that they play havoc with stonepaths. If that is your problem, you might consider switching to another material for your paths ( timber pallets, sand.....

There really is no general answer to this question. Generally speaking most men tend to accept their life partner the way s/he is, even when they don't like the behaviour. Some women however see their life partner as a kind of raw material, that has to be molded into some kind of perfection. Personal history has a big role here and also that social/emotional satisfaction is more important to women than to men ( generally!) If you are in that kind of situation, find a relationship-councellor. This is not something people can solve between themselves.