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    my boyfriend filed a domestic violence tro.and had me and my kids kicked out of our home. how do i defend myself if he is lying?

    my boyfriend and i got into an argument like all of our arguments and the next thing i know i am served with a temporary domestic violence restainig order that says me and my kids have to move out immediately. he has most of our belongings still at our home and me and the kids are currently homeless. he has lied in the restraining order making false accusations. how do i defend myself?

    +1  Views: 727 Answers: 10 Posted: 12 years ago

    10 Answers

    So the police have a restraining order?  The police have put you and your kids out on the street?  All of this is based on lies? You committed no act of violence?  Hmmmm?  And the rest of the story is......

    clu

    I'll bet, Ducka, We will never know!

    What do you mean by "if"..................?

    Vinny

    Wow! You caught that too!! I came in here just to respond to that.. "If' The largest word in the English language. You beat me to it..
    jhharlan

    You do my ego good, thanks.........
    ladyduck

    "if". ?????? U lost me
    Ducky

    Moderator
    Not only that big "IF" but also, homeless and spending hours here, TYPING...ON A COMPUTER????

    Something is rotten in Denmark!

    Are the kids yours alone? How old are they? Kids are rarely kicked out of homes if they are young children. Something doesn't sound quite right here.

    ladyduck

    The kids are mine alone. I have talked to several of our friends and my counselor. They all say that something is not right with him.my counselor told me today that she has suspected for months that something odd is going on with him weather he is using something or needs some mental help. She says he just doesn't look right. Problem is we live in a small town. He has been here for 20 years and has built a business and relationships with people such as the judge and lead investigator for the D.A. Me I've been here a few years and all though I'm not a piece of .... I'm also not high up in society. The kids are 8 and 10......... It is temporary our court date is on the 2nd of April. In the mean time me and kids stay????? I filed a motion asking to be allowed to return home with kids and for him to leave as he has several places he can stay in town..... IT WAS DENIED!!!!!!!! Like I said the judge is his friend
    clu

    ladyduck, something is amiss here! Call a newspaper or TV station, write a letter to the newspaper Squeak like a maniac! Contact any children's agency or homeless center! Where are you now that you have internet access but have no shelter for the night?
    Ducky

    Moderator
    @ladyduck..You are homeless...with a computer?

    You can ask the judge to recuse himself for bias in writing before the hearing . Complaint for judicial mis conduct should be filed with the state bar regarding "COLLUSION"  You have nothing where you are so make a sign and get on the road to the next town with services . You are either leaving this guy for good or you have a foot on both sides of the creek . Not a good situation . Sucks California is expensive at best . 


    The one question that was relevant you failed to answer : Where are you ? City and state ? No justice in a one horse town .

    Horse pucky !!!!! Where is the due process ? You both go to court and tell your story and the judge listens and grants a order or not . You have a right to confront your accuser in court . No lawyers are needed for this its a hearing to show cause . Everyone listen up get a freaking education learn how to play the game or get screwed . Learn what the hell due process is . So what do you want us to do as none of us has a magic wand to fix this .Are you on the lease ? There are domestic violence agency's for these situations contact them . Where in the world are you ,city and state ? Only a judge can issue a tro and that takes time and process . This whole thing smells like one big pile of manure .

    ladyduck

    Whoa I'm not looking for pity or sympathy I'm not one of those cry baby broads so don't misunderstand. I have exhausted all avenues and there are NO resources at all. The only agency in this pathetic town that provides aide is the agency that helped him and will not help me now because I have been labeled his abuser. I did file a motion to let us return home and for him to leave as he has family and relatives here and it was denied!!!! Do u wonder why? I'll tell u because him and the
    Judge are friends. I was on the lease but once again his friend the landlord and him took me off and signed a new lease behind my back not listing me and kids as tenants even . Which I found out shortly after I was served. We do have a court date in April were I'll b able to tell my side of the story. However that's two weeks away for one and for to this whole situation is not right by any means. I'm not going down without a fight because I have done nothing wrong. I just don't know Wat I can do as there are no resources here
    Ducky

    Moderator
    @ladyduck..You are homeless...with a computer?

    Something dont seem right here usealy It's the male that get tossed out , who's name is on the lease? Best defense is a good offense you need some evidence.

    Ducky

    Moderator
    But men are also victims of domestic violence...I think that there is more to this "story".
    daren1

    No doubt..
    ladyduck

    I kno but I haven't been looking for odd signs that pointed to something being wrong like this. We have our arguments it's true. But this one was not half as bad as they have been.my name was on the lease wen we moved in but him and landlord are friends and at some point he took me off and they signed a new one without me not listing me and kids as tenants. Not legal but they are buddies!!!! Same with the judge he is friends with..... The only judge in town. I m so lost and confused. There are many things going on in our situation and I can't figure out Wat to do. There was no D.V it s made up and so are the other allegations. But they are serious and people usually act first and then ask questions. Like granting the order and kicking me out. I'm worried about him this is very strange and his accusations are more lik dilussions . I just can't get anyone to listen to me and the kids. We love him, he needs help and we are stuck homeless alone without him and watching as he losses it.
    Ducky

    Moderator
    @ladyduck...You are homeless...with a computer?
    daren1

    You didn't hear all the shelters now have wifi..
    Ducky

    Moderator
    Really? Not in the city where I live.
    daren1

    Sorry ducka just kidding about the wifi, but i'm sure in time to be PC they will, after all they have rights too.

    By the sounds of this you don't have a leg to stand on.Are you charged with anything ? Have you got legal representation in place when you go to court ?There is sure to be help for a woman and 2 children that are homeless, the town you come from sounds corrupt to me.

    ladyduck

    No I have no attorney nor do I have the money for one. I haven't been charged with anything as of yet however Im not holding my breath that it won't happen as the lead investigator for the D.A's office and him are very good friends...... I guess I can consider myself lucky at this point that I haven't been cause I would lose my kids to the system as I have no family willing to take them if it happened. The town we live in is one of those small towns that has redidents that have been here 50 years plus. My boyfriend has been here 20 years....... They don't take kindly to outsiders and especially Hispanic tattooed single mom who end up with a guy like my boyfriend. You know the scum of the earth taking one of the only very qualified decent men. In town. We have lived here for 5 years now my kids have only gone to this school and have built solid relationships with other children and adults at the school. I don't want to leave here and take that all away from them and add
    I have my phone it an i phone. And I could contact our newspaper but our town is so small that it only comes once a week. Submits in on we'd. And pub. On thurs. as far as agencies I would if there were any here .we have a place called hrn and they are the towns only resource for side of any kind. I went there right after I was kicked out, they told me they had nothing to offer me.!i sat in the parking lot for hours crying cause I didn't kno Wat to do. Finally at 5pm they came out and said they would pay for one night only at a motel. Yesterday I saw the family law facilitator and she called them to c if they could help, they will not help me and the kids because they helped him do the paperwork and file it. As far as tgey are concerned I AM HIS ABUSER......... OI realize this sounds crazy but it's the truth.....we live an hour away from a big town in one direction and 2 1/2 hours away in the other direction. The sheriffs (3 of them) have told me that this is a bull tro , but there's nothing they can do about it because it is a court order . I'm being told by all I talk bro that all I can do is nothing until the court date which is 2 weeks away..... To top it all off I honestly believe that there are some serious mental or emotional issues going on with him and he is not acting of sound mind..... He is a wonderful man an upstanding member of society a buissness owner and so on here. We gave been 2 get her almost 3 years. We have had our share of problems but nothing abnormal. Since January he has been acting really wierd accusing me of serious things to my face and publically one day and then telling me he is sorry he was just angry and he loves me the next day... I have found him hiding things that would only matter if he was up to no good..... I have just chalked it up to stress and life and key it slide . But now that he has done this extreme thing I can't look the other way....I'm beyond list hurt confused scared shocked . I'm scared for us cause I don't know Wat to do.... I've never been in my own w/the kids and I'm scared for him cause something's wrong and I can't help him......I know this is a whole load of crazy drama and I'm sorry it fell in you're lap . However I have limited friends and resources and can use any input
    Ducky

    Moderator
    "I know this is a whole load of crazy drama and I'm sorry it fell in your lap". Are you using a laptop or a desktop to write all this(your words) crazy drama for us?

    first whos house?who kicked you out?where is children service they usually get involved because the cops have to file a report with them the same cops that have to serve you the restraining order!what court proceeding acurred ? you dont jst buy one at the local 7-11!he had to go to plea his case and the kids would be in custody of child protection! call a womens shelter and get those kids off the street before you get child neglect charges!if your not technically on the sidewalk then get a sitter and get your butt to the court house look up info on his file its public information jst tell the clerk his name and you would like to see his criminal file! you need to look up info on the eviction notice that has to have some sort of court,docket or case number to be legal!go to polce station where this eviction notice came from !how did this order get to you?usually posted on your front door!or a process server!any other way it better have info pertaining to who delivered it and the time date they did so so this info can get back to the court to file so it is a  case!go see the judge and  fight it!you have a right to know which judge granted him this order and why!!!it does not sound right and they donot come in the mail!!!



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