15 Answers
The mind can play tricks. Ahhh...it was sooooo wonderful back then! Was it really? Relationships end for a "reason" and "those reasons" fade away much faster than the happy memories. I think that's how we cope with past heartaches.
12 years ago. Rating: 15 | |
He reminded me of every reason I walked out with the pics. That was cold. I'm not a cold person, I can't do mean things to people. Even if I don't like them. I walk away.
If I had any feeling for him left, he killed it last night. That might have been a good thing.
It happened to me . About 5 years ago , my ex-finance' from the 70s wanted to see me. So, I told him I'd meet him in a resturant. We talked about general stuff. Then we went to a library b/c he wanted to show me some of his pictures of years ago. The library was closed. So, we sat in my car and I told him he had wasted my childbearing years.; and that he's got to stop lying to people to manipultate them . Then , he called me a few times adn I said I'm not going out with him. He said, " But , you're the only person who can love me " No, I don't love him. It's been 35 yrs. since I loved him . He's a sociopath who backed out of marriage twice with me ! It was all a scam
12 years ago. Rating: 15 | |
I think deep down I know I was lucky too. I think thoughts I shouldn't be thinking.
Had I stayed, I wouldn't have the problems I have today. My son might not have been born disabled. I would have had a large family, and a lovely home. But at what price?
I wish he hadn't contacted me. I don't need these thoughts.
My first thought is "Go Away"...but if you have any questions for him- now's the time. Keep your expectations low (though maybe he now realizes he was hurtful and wants to apologize????) I might have a friend around...don't invite him to your home..go somewhere in public- so you can leave quickly if he upsets you again!!!!
12 years ago. Rating: 13 | |
He gets in touch with me tonight, which would have been fine, we could be friends. I expected him to marry, and have children. He could have told me, nice conversation. Something pleasant.He didn't have to send pictures of his wife, kids and grandkids!
He didn't say anything much. Just are you the one I was engaged to? And sent photos. It was in poor taste.
I know how he thinks, he was sending a message.
Thank You!!
I have no advice at all. When I got divorced I lost a child as well ,not to be seen or heard of again,after they returned to Brazil . My son found me after 30 years ,and his mother is in touch as well. I never though I would be in touch with them again . So I am in the same boat as you ,day by day . We did chat once on line ,scary as hell all came back like it was yesterday .Not going to be doing that chat thing again .We talk about our son and the weather,thats about all. They live in Brazil and I am in the USA my son has visited 2 times for about a week each time . Strange saying good bye to a baby and having a grown man shake your hand saying Hi Dad ! I am going to be no help at all here ,just thought you might enjoy my story . You are not alone with this ,I mourned her for years and finally put her out of my mind,now the scariest thought is "what would I do if I was given the chance to see her face to face " I was given the chance to go to Brazil several times at no cost . HMMMMMMMMMMM Am I chicken or what ? Could be sitting on the beach in Rio with a drink and a hot Brazilian woman I must be nuts too!
12 years ago. Rating: 12 | |
We were perfect together. I thought. He had to many secrets,and he was controlling. You can reason with me, but not control me. I've very independent,I don't surrender my will.
Oh well, I left, it was hard. I always wonder if I made the right decision. You learn and grow as you go. He might have learn, that his behavior wasn't production in a relationship. Maybe not.
I feel for you, you didn't get to bond with your son. That breaks my heart. I'm glad you have contact with him and he visits you.I don't think your chicken. I was always told you never go back. It never works out, only in books. However it is hard to beat a hot Brazilian woman on a beach!
Thanks!
Daisy
My heart goes out to you. I too have survived a 30 something year old 'stiring of the feelings'. But for me it wasn't so bad. I moved on not too long after desolving the relationship. To release me from the haunting history I had, in my mind only, forgive the pereson. By doing this I freed myself from forever holding a grudge or holding onto hate. The grudge stuff can really really hold a person back from living free. Sometimes called baggage.
Rekindling any kind of friendship before you have freed yourself from that time in your life can cause overwhelming distraught. Nothing positive will result. BAAADDD karma. I would never do it myself, I know better now.
12 years ago. Rating: 12 | |
I'm okay now, I see him for what he is. Not someone I want to be involved with. I want someone with compassion, and passion. He lacked both.
Thats a horrible and insensitive thing to do, I would send the pics right back without comment and block him from further email contact
12 years ago. Rating: 9 | |
I was so surprised to hear from him, the shock had to wear off.
He is blocked.
Thank You!
Daisy. A man like that is not worth even to give him a second thought. To send you a picture of his family speaks of a sadistc nature. He wants you to suffer. Maybe now you can forget about the hurt he has caused you. Be happy you did not marry him and cut off any communication with him. He is a louse.
12 years ago. Rating: 6 | |
Thank You!
You say, " I hope life has treated you well." And walk away... You can never go back. I feel your pain... I know how badly it hurts. xoxoxoxo
12 years ago. Rating: 5 | |
Thank You Jenn!
Hi how have you been all these years. your looking well .
12 years ago. Rating: 5 | |
Thank You!
Oh dear, Daisy, you don't deserve any of this. What a cretin.
You have been given some really good advice. The only different offering I can make is that you have been adamant that you aren't really excited about seeing or talking to him. I don't think you want to be rude, though, and feel that some sort of response is in order. Sooooo, respond with,
"Yes, that is me. Please don't contact me again. Thank you. "
Something like that.
12 years ago. Rating: 4 | |