2 Answers

Have you not suffered enough torment to yourself on this matter ?As sad as your situation is, can you accept yourself to be a human being that makes mistakes like everyone else? That may be a starting place. 

Have you sought counseling? I can not tell you how to forgive yourself. That is your lesson to learn. I believe everything happens for a reason. I do not believe in accidents. I just can not guess what the reasons are. This is your life lesson. Only you can find the answer that will help you to forgive yourself. There's really nothing anyone can say to help you achieve that. The healing must come from within yourself, not from the outside. If you've never sought counseling for this, please do. It may not help and then again it may. This is a very difficult thing to live with. Your husband is in a world filled with God's love. Love is the only thing he knows now. He has forgiven you because he loves you. Now you have to find the way to do the same for yourself. I wish you peace and healing.