mycatsmom
An elderly widower down the street from me brings me water melon and such and when I hint to him at 12 :30 am that it's time for his to leave, he argues about it. He says things like " Why can't I just sit here and and sleep all night ? " and he says , " Why are you breathing hard ? " I start by standing up and saying " Last call " . He doesn't get it. He doesn't stand up. I finally say, " This bar is closed " He says, " You said it was last call "
You can't say to a guest, ' ' It's time for you to pack up and leave " .......That's what you say to a child . But, some people ( mostly men ) don't get it that after a while, you're supposed to leave .
Then, when I finally get him to stand up, he forestalls it by fingering the safety pins on my shoulder and says, " What's this " ? I wasn't planning on having anyone over here tonight at 10:45 pm !!!
When I say, I have to go to bed" he says "
" You aren't going to go to bed till 3 anyway " and all that B.S.When I said, " I have to clean up the kitchen, he doesn't move an says, " Well, go do your work "
I said, " Do you want me to call the police ? " He said, " You can if you want to , but I have to put my shoes on. "
Ok, I'll admit I went to the fitness center with him a few time, but now he thinks I'm his g. friend. He's getting to be a problem when he comes over.
15 Answers
ROMOS
Tell him bluntly to F&$k off, he'll get the message.
| 8 years ago. Rating: 10 | |
zorro
wonderer
jhharlan
You're in a pickle, I must say. What ever you do, don't lie to him or make up stories, that will only come back to bite you. Tell you what, ask him the same question. "How do I stop you from visiting me uninvited?" Don't dare say, "I like you but". The man is lonely and you are being too nice. Stop it! Be angry, no excuses, take him by the farm and lead him to the door. And this is beyond worrying about feelings. He hasn't considered yours......
| 8 years ago. Rating: 8 | |
Yes, I think it's hard on him that his wife died, b/c they were married 61 years !!! He doesn't do much . He said he's been feeling better and getting around better b/c of me being with him when we go to the whirlpool at the fitness center. He took me to Red Lobster. If he wasn't so old, he'd be great ! He used to be good looking when he was in his 60s, back in the 90s.
sunnyB
Tell him straight , tell him he has to respect your wishes or not come round. It's your choice, its your house , so tell him how you feel. If you want him as just a friend that should be fine, but he needs to be told. Either he has got the wrong impression or he's not a very nice person, either way he's in the wrong.
| 8 years ago. Rating: 8 | |
Bob/PKB
If I understood correctly, this guy shows up at 10:45 p.m. with a watermelon and you let him in your house.
Buy your own watermelon. Do not let him inside, telling him it's too late for a visit.
Tell him he needs to call before coming by again, and that his behavior was offensive, inconsiderate, aggressive, and abusive. Who needs a friend like that.
Don't feel your ego is being fed. He's not showing up at any hour that suggests he's truly interested.
You are somewhat naive in friendships, it seems. Better than being cynical (me), but still a problem.
| 8 years ago. Rating: 7 | |
pythonlover
Sounds like he has fallen for you mcm, if the feelings ain't mutual you will just have to be upfront and tell him straight.When he comes knockin don't have him come into the house, keep him at arms length you are not being rude, he is, by over staying his welcome.
| 8 years ago. Rating: 7 | |
I don't want to be involved with him , so I 'll have to let him know, like you said. . I might have just been a little stand off- ish if you had not told me to be upfront with him .
robert grist
Go to the police and explain the situation and when he is all about not leaving. Don't announce your intentions to him, just call in your friends to pack him off at their discretion. I know that it's using cops as if they are bouncers in a bar, which is the behavior he is demonstrating as if he's in a bar past closing.
| 8 years ago. Rating: 7 | |
country bumpkin
Tommyh
nomdeplume
witchway
I see it's been about a month since you posted this problem. Has your unwanted widower finally seen the light of day from the other side of your door?
| 8 years ago. Rating: 5 | |
JDB
tabber
I love questions like this, I think it falls into my pet peeve category of people that don't understand boundaries. First of all, if you got him to leave, for me the problem would be over. I would never answer the door for him again. I hope you have a pet that could let you know if anybody is walking around the outside of your house. When you have to leave your house, wave hello when you see him, and that's it. no reinforcing bad behavior. it only will get worst.
| 7 years ago. Rating: 4 | |
Benthere
